Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Lots of Thoughts

So today...it was really hard getting up...probably because it was so hard to sleep last night. I was tossing and turning and it was horrible. I've just got a lot on my mind. Some of it had to do with Daniel and the Air Force...some of it had to do with work...but i just couldn't quiet my mind...so i woke up this morning with a stomach ache and exhausted as anything. Once again, my faithful husband pushed me out of bed and said "go to the gym." He couldn't go this morning because he had to be at his parents to help them at their piece of land down near smith lake. So once again, I went alone. It went well, I guess. did the usual--30 minutes on the elliptical...then did 25 crunches on a stability ball without any extra weight...then did 25 with 2-2lb dumbells. i'll be feeling that later. lol.

on a plus side--down to 253.4. thats a total of 5.2lbs lost in a little over a week. :) (i started last Monday, so a week and 2 days.) Not too shabby. :) I can't wait to be under 250...I haven't been under 250 since my junior year of high school. Ever since then i've been bouncing between 250 and 265. The heaviest i've ever been was probably 265 or 266. soooo yeah... Feeling slightly more motivated now that I'm getting closer to 250. :)

One thing I'm having a hard time with is because I have shrunk how much I eat, my blood sugar dips and i start feeling shaky and stuff...which is no fun. especially when i'm at work. I guess thats just gonna keep happening until my body gets used to it. At work, we aren't allowed to eat our own food in the classroom...but we are allowed to eat the children's food if theres any extra...I've been taking in so many extra calories thanks to that..I am gonna talk to my boss today and see if we can figure something out...because if I want to lose weight, I can't keep eating their calorie-laden food. Its fine when they have broccoli or fruit, but not when they have pizza/tacos/spaghetti, ect. I know you'll say "just don't eat it then." However true that may be, I've tried. By 1130 (their lunch time), my breakfast has worn off and I am shaking and so hungry. I don't need to pass out on my kids, soooo i eat...and I don't eat a lot of it either...i get small spoons of it. idk

Anyways. Idk...like I said...gonna talk to my boss today to see if it is possible for me to step out of the room and eat a granola bar or something once the kids are sitting down for lunch. I think that would help me out considerably. After all, it never hurts to ask...whats the worst they can say? No?

we'll see how that goes. only 8 more lbs before I take my first "progress pic" (i know i said every 10lbs, but my first pic was at 255, so I'm gonna take my next one at 245). I know there wont be much different...though people are saying that my face has slimmed out a bit... :)

thats good news!

:)
adios


Monday, April 23, 2012

Strong Coffee

This morning I needed some STRONG coffee. I'm tired. I don't know why, i got plenty of sleep. oh well. So today its been a week since I started for reals, and I have lost about 4lbs. not too shabby. Probably would have lost more had my brother not come home! lol but i'm glad he did. I've missed him.

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 50 crunches on a balance ball. I feel good. I'm gonna be sore tomorrow...but as i've heard before, "You can be sore tomorrow or you can be sorry tomorrow--you choose." I choose to be sore. because that means I'm working my body. Hoping to hit my first 10lb mark by next Monday. That means i need to lose 6lbs. If I do not make it by monday, I at least think i can make it by the end of next week. That would make me ecstatic! :) I've got a lot going on this week, which means less time to be at home hungry and snacky. lol.

i didn't lose as much as i had hoped to lose this week, but i didn't work very hard this weekend....so, it all evens out. I am planning on working even harder this week. I would write a longer entry today, but I dont really have much to say other than what I already have.

I'm feeling motivated this morning, and I'm just praying I can keep up that motivation throughout the week.

:)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

When Food Habits Change

So I have learned a valuable lesson this week.

When you start to change your food habits, if you eat something greasy or laden with sugar, or just very very rich--your stomach does NOT appreciate it. I've had an upset stomach for 2 days now thanks to the very delicious pasta at Landry's. LAME. lol.

Aside from that, i've done pretty well this week. I've stuck to my guns. All except Thursday and yesterday. (both special occasions....my brother-in-law's bday, and my brother coming home) I mean, even with what i ate yesterday I did pretty good. I was still at a 1000 calorie differential, which is about where i try to be daily, if not a 1500 differential. :)

We also did not go to the gym thursday or friday... Thursday was our "off" day, and yesterday we were working in the garage so long that we just took a mile jog instead. I told daniel that i was already hot and sweaty and felt gross and wanted a shower, so lets go run real quick. LOL at least we did something. If i hadn't done that, I would have probably just gotten a shower and we wouldn't have done any exercising. working in the garage always makes me feel disgusting.

On a plus side--i got a LOT accomplished. We went through every box i owned out in the garage (except my books because my dad said those were packed well--huzzah!) and I packed up my coffee cups and plates/bowls. :) I'm gonna continue working on packing up my kitchen stuff today, but after this weekend i'll probably be done packing for a while. We are just trying to get my stuff packed up so my mom can move her stuff over. Its wierd...thinking about it...the next time i open up these boxes, I'll be unpacking wherever we get stationed...Its an odd feeling. lol

but yea...todays plan? eat less, do more. lol. i had cheerios for bfast cuz my tummy is still off. We are planning on going to the gym at some point...so thats good. I also want to go to walmart and a couple other places. :) I'm glad its not supposed to rain all day.

OHHH and guys heres my stats right now--

Monday I was 258.6
Today, I was 254.8.

FANTASTIC! I'm so excited. In order to motivate myself further, I am going to take "progress pics" every 10lbs. I don't know, it seems like a good idea and gets me motivated to get to those 10lb marks. :) PLUS it will look really good once I get a line from 10lbs-50lbs. It will be interesting to watch the changes in my body. :)  I saw some on Reddit (this site Daniel likes) of a girl who had only lost 25lbs and OMG the changes were ridiculous!!! I was like "well dang, if thats not motivating, I don't know what is!" lol I like to read the loseit reddit columns and stuff. Its very motivating.

anyways. I gotta go.

love you guys!
ALSO thanks for all the support ya'll have showed me, even though i've been kinda up and down and motivated or not motivated, ya'll have helped me more than you know. I really do think this time is different. I have a new attitude about it.




Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Stress Doesn't Help

One thing I've noticed this week is that no matter how dedicated I may be, if just the slightest hint of stress starts encroaching on my mind, I break down. I don't know if its hormones (thanks, Aunt Flo!) or what, but goodness gracious, I don't need that! lol. I try so hard to not let anything get the best of me, but sometimes...when its a REALLY rough day at work (like yesterday or last friday), I get really discouraged and then things just start to swallow me whole. But thats where the hubby comes in. He helped me get out of bed this morning and forced me to go to the gym again....late...but i went... lol. he didn't hear the alarm go off. And my poor husband is STILL sick. meh, it took me til last thursday to start feeling better, so hopefully he'll be good tomorrow.

I've tried a million different things to try to destress myself aside from what I used to do (Ben&Jerry's date, lots of rich fatty foods, ect), and focus on me. Its hard to do when you're working a full-time job and you have a million other things to take care of, but I'm workin on it. I've always had a problem with stressing myself out...so I'm trying to work on that as well as work on getting down.  I feel really good.  I weighed in today at 256.6. That makes me feel better because on Monday I was 258.4. Granted, I've been on top of myself these last couple days...making sure I log every calorie that goes into my mouth and making sure that I am burning more than what i consume. I've been eating about 1200-1400 calories per day...so, yea. :) I've been really good. I've been eating cereal or belVita for bfast, normal food for lunch (small portions), and a slimfast, cheese stick, and yogurt for dinner. :) its working out pretty well because i tell myself that whatever goodies my daddy makes for dinner i get to eat for lunch the next day, so it helps! :)

I am also focusing on a 20lb weight loss for the moment. If I can be down 20lbs by my birthday (which should be an easy feat if I stick with it, but i want to make it a small goal), then I will be happy. My birthday is July 20, so I have 13 weeks exactly from this friday to get down 20lbs. If I lose 2lbs a week, that will work great! lol

I like to set my goals low so that I'm excited when I hit it sooner than my set date...if i set it too high, it becomes unachievable and I get discouraged. So we'll stick with this. 20lbs by July 20th. :)

anyways. i gotta go get ready. adios!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Early Morning

I dont know if I'll ever get used to getting up early...surely eventually. lol. But today, Daniel and I started our "get up at 445a and be at gym by 515a" regimen. However, since he is ill with whatever I got sick with last week, I went by myself. It was easier as the morning progressed. Getting out of bed was the worst. LOL. I rolled over and was like "if you can't go, i'll just wait until you can" but, like a good husband, he shoved me out of bed and said "you'll thank me later."

so i got up and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the ArcTrainer, did 2 sets of 10 on a chest press, and stretched. :) it felt good, but i bet i'm gonna be exhausted when i get off today. we'll see. We plan on doing the 5a thing 3 times a week....so i'll also try to post three times a week. just to keep ya'll updated.

on a plus side--I think things are going to be different this time. I was able to look and see if i lost 2lbs a week, where that would put me in a year. That will put me almost at my goal. It really got me excited because that means only a year or a year and a half before Daniel and I start trying to have kids! LOL thats not the only reason--another reason is next summer i could be in a bikini!!!!! for the first time ever. omg you have no idea how much that excites me. I know its easy at first to lose, and gets harder as you go, but by the time it gets harder, I'll be able to work harder on it.

When I think about what I will look like skinny, I can't picture it. I've been fat all my life. so i'm excited to see what the "new me" will look like.  hoping my hair will grow long too. Another good thing is that if i start now, when daniel goes to basic, I'll be able to work extra hard so he can see a difference. I mean, he'll be gone for 8 weeks. :)

but anyways. i'm gonna try to do green tea on the mornings i go to the gym....instead of coffee....to boost my metabolism a little more. :) we'll see how that goes. well, i hope you all have a wonderful day (despite the eminent rain).

adios!


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Baby Blues

So, I've found that lately i've had a pretty crazy case of "baby fever". Let me just tell you....its so hard to see everyone around you getting pregnant and having kids and everything when thats something you have wanted from the start. I understand that we're not in any place to have kids yet, and I know all of you are going to tell me to wait as long as i can. You are not me. Daniel and I have come up with a good "goal."  We will start trying to have kids as soon as i get down to a healthy weight. Because overweight pregnancies can have LOTS of issues...both for mom and baby. which is true. its just hard.

i've had a hard time trying to stick with anything because of work and stuff. like i try try try, then something comes up and i'm done. I DO THIS EVERYTIME. I do not understand why i cannot stick with anything. I'm trying so hard...but as soon as i start being good, i start being bad. I guess its because we are living with my parents and for they can't revolve around my eating or anything. they want what they want, and its tempting as hell and i usually give in. Especially after a 9 hr day at work. when i'm starving. -.- "wanna go to red robin?" "heck yea!" lol. cuz it gets me out of cooking. -.- yeahhhh i need to stop that. I know its gonna be a little easier to keep to a diet of any sort when we are living on our own again--but that will not be for at least a year, if not longer. It will be easier also because i wont be working. I will keep a job for part of the time he is in basic...and when I see that we are covered enough for me to stop, i will stop and focus the time i would spend at my job, at the gym and on my food and stuff. Much like daniel. His "job" for the past 9 months has been to lose weight. And he did. :) now we're just waiting on the AF to send him off to MEPS and to take the ASVAB. then comes basic.

But so, yeah. I'm like sitting here on facebook looking at all the pictures of my friends' kids, and preggo bellies, and cute little newborns, and preggo tests and AHHHH. its driving me bonkers. I'm like "why cant i just be skinny so we can start trying now?" I hate that i've let my body get like this, but theres nothing i can do but move forward. I'm an emotional eater. Stressed? Food. Sad? Food. Happy? Lets celebrate with food! and the list goes on and on. Thats why i'm worried. I told Daniel that I wanted a baby...he said "when you get down 100lbs, then we'll talk." "what if i never get down?" "why wouldn't you get down?" "i never have been able to stick with something." "you've never had the time or mind to."


I guess thats the one thing thats really been bugging me. (that and i've been sick with some sort of sinus infection the past three days). I just I want a baby and I'm worried I'll never get down. I feel the same cycles going on over and over.  Daniel and I are going to try to start going to the gym every morning before i go to work next week....i think that may help...because after work i'm often tired, headaches have sprouted, and i just don't have the patience for the gym. lol. Before work? I'm just not a morning person. so if my husband can take the pissy  version of myself and actually get my butt out of bed, we'll be good. You guys have been so good to me...I've been so off and on with this the past month. :( i'm sorry for letting you all down. This hasn't been a total waste, because i do look forward to your input on the few blogs i've actually posted.

I just hope I can make all of you proud one day. I want a good side by side like my husband. lol. he's lost like...60+ lbs since July...and he looks great!!!
my side by side at -60lbs will look better! LOL. I want to be in a slightly smaller swimsuit size if daniel and i go to the beach before basic...so...............i guess i better get on it. lol

if you guys wouldn't mind, please pray that I will have a peace about having children. About waiting until i'm down. its better for all of us.

love ya'll!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Getting Past Tired

Ohhh boy. So. today is a  crazy one.  I have been working at Trinity (as you all know....) so my body is still getting used to that full-time schedule again. not only that, the kids have been acting out because i guess I'm still "new"....soooo i've been all over the place...then on tuesday night, I decided it would be a FANTASTIC idea to go to the gym. well. yeah it was great, but let me tell you, i was WORN OUT all day on Wednesday. It was all i could do to be up with the kids dancing and playing. Needless to say, I did not go to the gym yesterday...and i'm kinda regretting it because i know i probably wont go tonight because we have a staff meeting after work and i have no idea how long it will last and i dont like going to the gym past 630 because then i don't sleep very well. 

but anyways. today we're supposed to have storms, and the kids are supposed to have an easter egg hunt--how thats going to work? I have no idea. i guess we'll wing it. 

I want your input--how do you guys get past all this tired? Is there something i can take? (B12, ect?)  to help me have energy? or is it just my body getting used to all this new stuff with my schedules?

i thought i was doing good..... well i know i'm doing good...but i feel the need to go to the gym more than 2 days a week. :(

Oh..btw...my weight as of this morning is 255.4....starting weight--258.8. That means I have lost 3.4 lbs this week. i've heard the first 10 are mainly water and stuff when you're this overweight....so..i assumed they'd be easy to get off. :)

anyways. gotta get ready for work. adios.

Monday, April 2, 2012

11 Days....11 days....

So...i think i mentioned something called the "11-day diet" on here before...so..i totally started it yesterday and let me tell you--purging my body of the toxins that i call my favorite drink--makes for a not so happy beth. I have been feeling obnoxiously sick...but i know its just cuz lately i got REALLY bad about coke. I love it. Drank it with EVERYTHING. drank it just to drink it. drank it instead of water...ect ect...so...my body is like "WTFFFFF?!!???" lol. but its good for me...i'm technically supposed to only drink water, unsweetened tea, diet drinks, and coffee...but i keep my cran-apple juice anyways because it is going to help my kidneys after all the daggum coke. LOL but anyways

yesterday was day1... and i did pretty well...minus getting popcorn at the movie... -.- *facepalm* i know...stupid stupid stupid...but whatever, can't really go back now, can we? lol. daniel took me to see the Hunger Games FINALLY. lol. it was very good. i think the only thing i was mad that they changed was the whole thing with the mockingjay pin...but other than that--it was really good. but...well yeah...back to the 11-day. :)

its all about calorie shifting from day to day...yesterday was day 1 and we kinda went by a menu, but you know...just using it as a guide...you eat four meals a day.....today was FRUIT DAY. all you eat all day for every meal is fruit. except one meal which you can have a deli sandwich. This the first really rough day on it. I can never do it exactly like this. Like, for instance...for breakfast i had BelVita things, a banana, some grapes, and coffee. For lunch i had my sandwich and some grapes. i just had a bowl of cheerios because i was feeling ill and didn't think my body could handle just fruit...and in about an hour, i'll have some peaches. keeps me from getting sick. but tomorrow i get to eat normal food (sorta), so yea. the reason why i say this is the FIRST really rough day is because there is another day where all you can have is veggies. lol. thats the second hardest day. lol. but yeah...

i enjoy doing the diet, and you see results--especially when you workout on top of it. My dad doesn't do any kind of workout or exercise aside from going to his job...and he has lost like...50lbs on it before. The only reason i'm doing it right now is to kind of kick-start my dieting and get myself a little more disciplined. I need to shrink my stomach and just i guess just get used to not eating junk again. I was doing SO WELL there for a little while--then "shit hit the fan" and well...you know how that goes. ended up working my butt off so much that i never had time to really deal with it and reverted back to fast food--and let me tell you---eating out and drinking coke are two of the hardest habits to break. oh and sugar...but....i'm not giving sugar up...i'm just eating less. one dark chocolate square a day...or a small scoop of frozen yogurt with fat free/sugar free whipped cream...just enough to quench that hunger for sugar. lol.

but anyways...the hubby just got home from his walk...and we're gonna watch Game of Thrones (good series btw...and the books are even better!!! go read them!)

ohhh  and everyone should be very VERY proud of my husband. He has lost almost 60lbs! (he started at 225 back in July, and now he's at 166.8!!!!) He goes back to the USAF recruiter next Tuesday!! Hopefully this time they'll actually enlist him and get this ball moving!

peace out!