The Comfort Zone

We all have it. That little happy routine and place where we repeat over and over. The one thing we can't seem to shake. The place we go to hide when everything else is uncertain.

I've been stuck in mine for years.

Until today. Well really, 2 weeks ago. But today REALLY starts getting me out of "the zone."

I've always been one to make sure we had breakfast food when it was breakfast, lunch food when it was lunch, and dinner food when it was dinner--no questions asked...except for the occasional breakfast for dinner just for kicks and giggles. I've always been the one to sit at home, watching TV, wondering--much like Rapunzel from Tangled--When will my life begin?

I have my prince charming already--oh yes. Daniel is my knight in shining armor (or should i say Airman in green camo?), he is my everything---but when I ask myself, when will my life begin?, I'm moreso asking when will I get my crap together and actually START my life. Losing the weight, starting my family, ect. When  will I be brave enough to step out of that comfort zone I've been in for so long? The answer up until now was "eventually."  Two weeks ago that changed. Two weeks ago I took a leap of faith and saw a personal trainer. He is pretty awesome. He's only 20/session, which isn't bad--so that helps. I just can't go see him every day...sometimes I may only be able to see him once a week--but I see him. Accountability--its what matters. Then, Daniel and I were talking about his nutritional plan. We decided it would be best for me to do it. Tim (my trainer) has full faith that it will help me. It didn't cost an arm and a leg to do either, so that makes it easier.

Today is Day 1. I had a lot of anxiety after getting my "meal plan" and workout plan. I am not the one to eat the same thing over and over....but there it was in black and white--Meals 1-6--for the next 30 days. O.O  let me just say, I had a minor freak out. LOL especially because I saw that I will be eating Steak and oatmeal for breakfast. SAY WHAT?! yeah. I dont do normal food for breakfast. but alas--i woke my butt up this morning (much groaning from me because Daniel just got home at 7 so i only got like..10 minutes of snuggle time this morning! :( boo!) and I cooked a steak. I love steak. I'm actually glad i'm doing this plan. Daniel doesn't like steak. so now i get to enjoy my steak every morning for the next month. I might get tired of it, which again would be good for Daniel. ;) LOL

All in all, I think this will be good for me. Its completely cutting dairy and sugar out of my diet--except for a "dot" of honey that I'm allowed SOMETIMES on my oatmeal if i get bored of the flavor. But it will give my body a chance to heal and see if I might have some intolerances to dairy that i didn't know about. I dont drink milk, i just can eat my weight in greek yogurt--it is my go-to snack. haha as for sugar...i have been thinking about cutting out sugar the past couple months, so that one was welcome....even if it means i can't eat a banana or strawberries or blueberries... I'll survive--its only for a month. :)

Aside from all the new changes in my diet and workout life--i also have other changes in my life. As of this friday, I'm no longer a nanny. The hours were getting to be too much and I was overstressing--as were they. So we both decided it would be best if they put Jack back in daycare. It was mutual, and I'm still going to be their go-to babysitter for weekends or if no one can pick jack up when he needs to, I'll go get him--ect ect. :) So thats good. I'm a little stressed, but I know we'll make it work. I'm trying to get on board with a more part time job, and I've also decided to be more involved with AF doings. :) I'm going this weekend to meet with a few ladies about becoming a Key Spouse for Daniel's squadron. I will be a point of contact, I will organize get togethers, I will help wives out if their hubbies are deployed, I will help them out if they just need it. Something I LOVE doing--helping others. I'm really hoping I am able to do it. I am also thinking about being the Point of Contact for something called Cinderella's Closet. Basically--i'd be a dress consultant and help them find the perfect dress for the occasion and I will keep track of inventory and whatnot. So thats awesome. I have to meet with the board and talk to them though, so we shall see. I'm just trying to be more involved. I'm hoping that by involving myself I will be less depressed, less out of sync. I really want to be happy here, at least for Daniel. We've got *at LEAST* another year, if not 2 here. I best make the most of it.

I think one reason I'm having a hard time is I dont really have any friends--not like at Keesler. I have my best friend here, but we don't see each other daily. Well, we used to--but then life happened. haha. At keesler I was used to constantly doing something with Lani and Nichole, so I think that really got me spoiled. haha  I'll get over it though. I'm trying, I'm trying to find more friends, I'm trying to branch out and do more for the squadron, and most of all--I'm doing my best to support my husband. Thats why I'm here. I love him, I cherish him, and I am here for him--to support him. I am one lucky woman.


As for now, I think thats everything. I'm pretty sure I'm about to go to Ross--even though I wanted Daniel to go with me so he can try on a shirt--I dont want to lose that dress! OHH. Yeah, thats right I didn't say anything in here. We are attending our first formal military event! Its the 5th MOB's 50th anniversary next week, and we got the honor of being able to attend the banquet! I'm so excited! So of course that means, getting my nails done, doing my hair pretty, and having a BEAUTIFUL gown. I hope. *fingers crossed* that its still at Ross, lol. It was so pretty though, I'm scared it will get snatched up!

Anywho, I hope all of you are having a great week! I will post more often now that my schedule is opening up....maybe. Haha you know me, I always say I'll try to post more and life just often gets in the way!

Have a great HUMP DAYYYYYYY. :)

-Beth

Just for kicks and giggles--look how big my wedding dress is on me!

Never Boring

Life has been crazy...isn't it always? I got to see my sweet little nephews, Skyler and Colton, on May 18. That was the first time I've seen them in over 2 years, and the last time I saw them was literally for 15 minutes. I've missed them.

me and my sweet nephews! 

We had a really good visit, and I wish Daniel had been able to accompany me (he was on call with his shop the entire weekend. boo). I also wish my parents, little sis, and little bro could have seen them. I know they've missed them as well. But anyways. I love these kiddos. :)

The week after that, we had our friends from Keesler come up. So much fun! I have missed them so incredibly much. I didn't realize just how much I'd missed them until they got here! It had been about 9months since we had seen them last. :(  We had an incredible visit, I cooked a lot, and we just enjoyed their company. I cried when they left. Oh it hurt. I felt like I had left keesler all over again. It was so hard to pull myself out of it. I was on the verge of being depressed--and thats never a good feeling. I broke down with Daniel. I miss those 6 months we were at keesler-minus him being in tech school. Idk it was different there. Here--I feel alone. I have a couple of friends...but I just feel lonely. :\ Its harder here.

on the other hand, there are a lot of good things going for me right now. one of those being--I got a personal trainer! I had my first session this past monday. It was an eval, so thats nice. but he's only $20/session and doesn't have a contract, so if I can't afford him, then I just don't go that week--no harm no foul. Love it. He's super nice too.  I also have never had a complete stranger be so encouraging. You want to know what he told me? First off he told me he was impressed with me. Which...I was slightly taken aback at first (meaning he had preconceived notions based off my weight), but then I was proud at what my body had accomplished and I knew thats what he meant as well. Second--he told me that I was going to do amazing things. BAM. i almost cried. haha (i have been an emotional wreck this week, sooo sue me). I've never had someone that was a complete stranger tell me anything like that before. He doesn't know me, he doesn't know who I am--really. We met, he did my eval, bam done. So for him to tell me I'm going to do amazing things... just wow. I felt so happy the rest of the day and fully encouraged. God knew I needed that boost of confidence. ;)

So I'm planning on seeing him 2x/week--as we can afford it. I'd love to do his 6 month nutritional program...but we dont have an extra hundred bucks laying around--boo. i'm going to try to save up for it. :)

I've also been fighting a LOT of headaches--especially this last week. I'm assuming either because a) something is out of alignment in my back or b) i'm sleeping funny...or c) i'm clenching my teeth AND sleeping funny. all i know is I'm sick of it. haha ibuprofen, naproxen, tylenol, excedrin... i've tried it all. lol even claritin, zyrtec, and sudafed. and peppermint YLEO--which now i probably can't live without because it is amazing! lol

but anyways. I guess thats really it for today. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. been trying to post a blog for like..2 weeks but couldn't really find the words to say. :\ i do apologize for me jumping to random subjects. lol a tad scatterbrained today. I need a vacation. *sigh*

Hope you guys are having a terrific week.