The Rollercoaster that is BMT

This title is so fitting...I mean. I've been on so many ups and downs the past 5 weeks that i feel seasick! lol While most of it has been good, there are always downsides. Since the last phone call that i mentioned in Jan 13's post, I have gotten another phone call and 2 letters.  i miss him so much, but I know this is going to better both of us and our family. So I guess lets start with the phone call.

After that one I mentioned in the last post, I thought there wouldn't be another phone call until WOT7 (still 3 weeks away at that point...)... I went all week really sad and wishing I could just have a do-over of that call because i broke down on him during it. Well, Saturday as I was getting ready to head to the gym, lo and behold who was calling--DANIEL! I totally thought that it was just a text and then i looked down and i about freaked out. I all but threw my nephew at my mom and was like "its dan--dani-daniel!!!" stuttering as i answered i all but blew his eardrums out i bet. i was like "OMG HEYYYYY!" lol he just laughed at me and said "hey babe!" so i talked to him for 15 minutes on the way to the gym and was soooo super pumped. He's doing good, which always makes me feel better. :) He's about as ready for me to come down as I am! lol He wants to show me the dorms and just...everything. :) makes me feel really special that he's so excited. As we hung up on that call, i was feeling so much better. Hearing his voice was exactly what i needed at that moment.

After about 5 minutes in the gym, i notice that..Oh. My. God. my wedding band is missing. I was FREAKING OUT. i mean, i scoured the gym, the gym parking lot, my house, my bed, my car, the post office (scared as hell that i had dropped it in the box when i dropped his letters in there)...finally. after 3 hours of searching, I found it. It was on my mom's jewelry box with my older sister's jewelry. I guess with me losing weight (hellll yeaaaa) it made it super loose and it just fell off and someone picked it up and set it up there. who knows. I still freak out about that. I guess i need to go have it sized... but i think i'll get my engagement ring sized first...that way i still have *something* to wear around my finger while my band gets sized. idk. i may buy a cheap replacement. Daniel's has to get sized too. anyways.

After that, I was just emotionally drained. I don't really remember what I did the rest of the day. I went to church on Sunday...man have i missed that. I plan on going to church with my in-laws again the 2 sundays leading up to me leaving (the 3rd and the 10th). I would go tomorrow, but I'll be in Tuscaloosa! (hooray!) on Monday i ate lunch with my friend from work and then we went to ross...where I tried on a size..16! did it fit, you ask? YES. i could button and zip and breathe...sorta...lol. it was tight, but they fit! i haven't been able to pull a size 16 over my thighs in years! i was SOOO excited. can't wait to buy me a pair of 16s to wear to Daniel's grad...he'll be so thrilled! :D

Tuesday was the only other interesting day. I went to work from 7-1(nothin interesting about that, folks)... then afterwards, i rushed home, ate lunch, and changed....as i'm walking out the door to head to TSgt McLain's office, the mail truck comes! so I RUSHED over there to get it..and I had 2 letters from Daniel! The mail carrier asked me who the letters were from and I said "my husband, he's at bmt for the USAF" and he said "awesome, tell him i said thanks for his service..." and now everytime I get a letter, he puts those on TOP of all the other mail. he's awesome. :D So after I sat in my car and cried while reading the letters I headed to the office. I haven't been there since Daniel left, so it was kinda hard getting up the courage to walk in there. I'm glad I did. I ended up being there just shy of 3 hours. hahahaha. at first, I sat and talked to A1C Phan who is working under TSgt McLain on RAP (recruiter assistance program)....i did that while TSgt McLain was talking to a few appointments he had. We talked about anything and everything. After A1C Phan left, and all the other appointments left, it was just me and TSgt McLain...we talked for about an hour and a half before anyone came in the office, it was nice. Then I left. I'm SOOOOO thankful every day that Daniel had TSgt McLain as his recruiter. He is so awesome. And I can be a smartass with him and its funny. lol. well...i can be suuuuper sarcastic with him like i was with Daniel...and i think thats why i like talking to him. hahaha. I plan on helping him out in the coming weeks before I leave and after i get back from Daniel's graduation. it feels good to be around Air Force people. makes me feel like I'm home. idk. its weird.  lol

after Tuesday, i just worked my last 3 days. Yesterday was my last day of work. period. I am officially a SAHW(stay at home wife for you noobs out there who have no idea what that is...usually its "stay at home mom" or SAHM, but seeing as we have no children yet, i'm just a wife...and i'm fine with that! lol) it felt weird clocking out for the last time. almost surreal. I've worked since I was 15 and have been working full time since I got married 3 years ago... this is a much needed break. though its not really a break. my new job? Losing Weight. you may think that sounds like an easy feat? its not. i mean, i've been on weight watchers for almost 4 weeks and i've lost only 10lbs. i have 110 left to lose. lol. I'm not disheartened by that fact either. I used to have 120lbs to lose, now i'm 10lbs closer to my goal! and only 6 away from being at the goal i wanted to be for Daniel's graduation. (i want to be 230 or less for daniel's grad and I'm sitting at (as of thursday) 236.8). I haven't been in the 230s since high school. it feels good. :D not having a job is going to help me tremendously because now i seriously have NO EXCUSE to not go to the gym. i have a schedule set up. the gym is my job. i will go there and work like i'm getting paid for it. haha. i wish i was getting paid for it...that'd help with motivation. hahaha. but i can do this. i've finally got my mind set. I've made it past my previous "i'm done" weight (240). i'm pushing through. i'm ready for this. COME AT ME BRO!

anyways. so yeah...the next 2 weeks are going to FLY BY. mainly because i have planned A LOT over the next couple weeks. going to tuscaloosa today and tomorrow, monday-thurs gym and help TSgt McLain if he needs it,  Friday gym early--getting my hair done at 1(hooray!)--then hanging out with my bestest friends and celebrating this new beginning for Daniel and i (if only he was here. booooo). Saturday...saturdays gonna be a day of rest. I'm still gonna go to the gym, but i'm gonna spend the rest of the day doing things around the house, making a list of what i need for my trip, ect. Sunday i'm gonna go to church with Viki and Brian, and quite possibly have a photoshoot with an amazing photographer I used to work with at Lifetouch. :D monday-friday GYM and help TSgt McLain when he needs it... Saturday nails! Sunday, church again...monday pack, repack, pack, repack. haha. and TUESDAY I LEAVE. not long at all. I have a plan to keep myself busy...the busier i am, the faster it goes. lol. i may even take a day trip or 2 day trip to Tupelo to see my mom's parents. idk. depends on everything.

but yeah. i'm super excited...and as the day gets closer to me seeing him, i get more and more excited and anxious all at one time. I am SO ready to see him...and this Valentine's Day is geared to be the BEST ONE YET.

i'll keep you guys updated and will post a before/after pic of my hair when i get it done!

your-extremely-excited-and-ready-friend,

Beth

Waiting

So...today is the start of a new week. For Daniel, thats WOT4 (week of training). I just got a phone call from him, and he's doing good. I, on the other hand, am having a rough time. Last phone call, I was pumped afterwards. This phone call...idk. I lost it at the end. Idk if it has to do with the fact that I lost a friend (albeit, not a super close one, but still a friend), or that I'm just missing him that much...probably a mixture of both. Idk. I did really well until we started to say goodbye...then i lost it. I feel bad... the last thing he heard was me trying to choke out "i love you. see you soon." bleh. stupid female emotions getting in the way. :(

this is hard. its not as hard as i thought it was going to be, but still tough. My soul yearns for him, yearns to be  together again. Only 32 more days. I just gotta keep telling myself that. Only 1 month left. I can do this. We're halfway there. Ugh.

On a happier note, I have lost 6lbs on Weight Watchers. Thats without going to the gym, just watching my points and working. I am proud of this. Maybe I will be down to 230 when i go to see him in February! I have 4 weeks and if I lose 3lbs each week, I should lose about 12 lbs which will put me at 228. :) (I was 240.0 this morning which is the lowest i've been since daniel and i got married!!!)  :) i was happy. He was just as thrilled to hear that when I told him on the phone too. :) it made me happy to hear how excited he was. 

His knee is doing better, thank God. He still has a cold, but he's got some medicine and is trying to get over it. I have booked my flight, my hotel, and reserved my car...so all that is taken care of... I'm worried about him getting recycled, but i'll deal with that if it comes. I'm praying it wont happen. 

my heart is heavy today. I mentioned above that i lost a friend. She was called home today. She was in a bad car wreck last Sunday on her way to work and she went home to be with God today. I'm glad she is not hurting anymore, and I know its tough on us down here. But Heaven gained a new angel today, and we will see her again. Please continue to pray for her family and her husband. They had only just gotten married in September. :( 

I guess thats why it hits home so hard...they were newlyweds...and while Daniel and I have been married for 3 years, I still cannot fathom how tough that is. I dont know what I'd do without him. Its also hard because he's not here to comfort me. maybe thats why i'm having such a hard time today. who knows. 

anyways. thats all for today, i guess. I'll try to write more when i get a couple more letters in. OH i also received the tshirt/banner i created for the airman's run! arent they pretty?

-Beth

The Great, The Awesome, and the Beautiful!

      I am in such high spirits today! For a number of reasons, really... but I don't think I've felt this good about anything until now. Especially since Daniel left.  One of my top reasons I'm so giddy right now is because I got to talk to him last night!!! Usually (or well, after last weeks call) I expect to be completely overwhelmed and depressed after his phone calls...but hearing how excited he was about the letters I had sent him, hearing how much he wanted to show me around base, just hearing how much BETTER he sounded made my heart feel full. :) I also was informed that we tend to write letters to each other around the same time at night. That made me happy. Its like we're spending time together even though we're apart. He sounded so much better last night than on Christmas Day. He was more animated, more excited to hear my voice, just so much more in control. I felt SO MUCH relief after that phone call. He wasn't sick anymore, he was actually kinda enjoying himself (weird, right?!?). He said he lived for my letters! lol and that he was sad when mail came and there weren't any for him. :( which is sad because i mail out a letter a day... in hopes that he'll get at least something every day. Oh well, i have no control over the USPS. I am also giddy because he said he sent out the "Spouse Paperwork" a few days ago and that he put a little something in there for me...no telling what it is.... but i am SOOOO ready for that to come! He also informed me that he has tried to write me every day. :) So i should have quite a bit of mail coming this week seeing as I've only actually recieved 1 letter from him in the 16 days  he's been gone. lol. The spouse paperwork means I can go get my DoD card (spouse military id). :D

     Another reason for this happiness is that I started Weight Watchers yesterday. :P  I have officially jumped on the bandwagon. I need structure, and that allows me structure. Plus, I finally had the money AND the tools (iPhone) to make it easier to do. I LOVE the scanner app. I looked like an idiot in target this morning, but I love Love LOVE it. I also enjoy being able to update my tracker from my phone. :) its nice. But i'm so excited. I got a 3 month membership. I'm also going to the gym again. (oh how i've missed it!) Im gonna start back easy this week (only 30 min on elliptical) and then once I get back in the groove (from the holidays and getting my work schedule back in order and all taht), then I'll start working back up to an hour. I'm glad I only did 30 this morning--I was DYING after that. lol. goes to show you what laying around being lazy and being sick can do to you. I used to be able to do an hour and not feel winded at all when i got off. Holy crap. I shouldn't have allowed myself to go so long without doing it. haha. I also plan on implementing some light weight training once I am no longer working. Its easier right now to just do the cardio, but once I have some extra time, I'll start scheduling my cardio/weight lifting days. I also plan to start swimming again. eventually. Another one I miss. lol. Surely 30 minutes of elliptical is better than none, right? I feel like I'm failing if i do anything less than 60 minutes, but I know everywhere else states that 30min/day 3days/week is a good starting point. (even though i've started a lonnnnggg time ago...haha). I just idk. i guess cuz i've done an hour so often I just feel like 30 minutes isn't gonna do anything.

   As far as surviving without my husband? I'm doing alright. A lot better today than the past 2 weeks, thats for sure. 6 weeks and a day until I get to see him again. It cannot come fast enough. I am so thrilled about how excited he is to see me.  He said that he sees Airmen on their graduation day while they're doing PT or going to various appointments on base and they are escorting their families/wives/ect around base showing them and all he can think of is "I HATE YOU!" lol. he apparently wants me there as much as I want to be there. Good. As well it should be. hahahaha. anyways.  well I need to go start getting ready for work. Just thought I'd update you guys.  Back to the grind. Back to reality. yuck

-Beth