"You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug. You can be the outcast, or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love. Or you can start speaking up. Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle 'neath your skin. Kept on the inside and no sunlight, sometimes a shadow wins. I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out--Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."
--Brave by Sara Bareilles--
I came across this song about a week ago while I was trying to scramble to get new songs to workout to. I am sooo in love with it. It is saying everything I needed to be told for years. Be brave. Speak up. Dont let them walk all over you. I wish this song had come out while I was in high school....the Lord knows I just sat there quietly. Like Katy Perry says in "Roar:"
"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath--scared to rock the boat and make a mess...So I sat quietly, agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice, I let you push me past my breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything."
These two songs...they have really helped me over the past few weeks. I've been struggling with being here. I've been having a hard time... and these songs? They are awesome. Katy Perry is not usually one of my favorite go-to artists, but that song...idk. it hit home. because here? I'm over it. "you held me down, but I got up--already brushing off the dust.....you held me down, but i got up--get ready cuz i've had enough!" I mean, I'm ready. I'm working my butt off to lose this weight. i finally have the motivation, the strength, the courage. I'm ready to change.
I started this journey at a whopping 250+. I am currently at 227. 2 lbs away from losing 25. I could have probably been 50lbs down by now had I actually worked the entire 6 months I was at keesler, but...we all know how change goes. Here--theres nothing to do...so I workout. Well, I was working out...until I stupidly tried to run a 5k last week without "training up for it." -.- that was stupid. Though, I am proud of myself because I learned 2 things about myself:
1) I CAN RUN A 5K STRAIGHT! No walking!
2) I love running outside. Love it. never thought that would happen, haha.
I am a much stronger person than I was in high school. I've learned a lot over the past 5 years...wow..5 years since I graduated? dang. I'm getting old. lol. Daniel has had a lot to do with that. When I met him, I was still this shell of a person. Now? I am so much happier and I am so thankful for Daniel pulling me out of my "funk" and being as encouraging as he is. That one day we went out and ran together, he was constantly saying "Babe, if you just run a little farther, you would have run a whole mile," "come on baby, you have almost run a mile and a half without stopping! you got this," "babe! you just ran 2 whole miles without stopping! I am so proud of you!" he just didn't stop encouraging me the entire run. I have never had someone do that for me before, it showed me just how much he loves me. He's always encouraging me... I've never been more thankful. I couldn't do this without him and his support.
I say all this rambling because this is what it means to be brave. Taking a chance, a risk, and hoping that it will better you and those around you. You never know whats going to happen. Daniel joining the AF was brave--we dont know whats going to happen, but we trust God, and we went for it. Now we're stationed in GA, not our first pick, but I know we're here for a reason. Even if it was only to meet the amazing people I've met already. We are taking it one day at a time and making the most of our time here, even though the government has been stupid lately. This shutdown doesn't help my stress levels, thats for sure.
Anyways, I hope you guys all can agree--sometimes you have to be brave in order to achieve what you want. Even if that means standing up to the people who put you down, facing a problem you have been avoiding your whole life (like my weight), or just going after what you want. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
I hope you all have an amazing day. Be amazing. Be yourself.
Love you guys,
Beth
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Life is what YOU make it.
Hah, everytime I hear those words I automatically go into the whole "Life's what you make it so lets make it ROCK!" from Hannah Montana. Yes I used to watch that show. No I'm not ashamed.... lol
Anyways. That phrase is something I've really had to put into play the past few weeks. As you guys know, we have officially PCSed to Georgia or "the big peach" as people call it. Its strange. Everything went okay with the move, but once we got here I felt like the world was falling apart. We had bought a new car while we were home for those two weeks, and as soon as we get to GA and get in our house the dealership was calling with a million problems telling us we were going to have to come BACK to AL to re-fill out all the paper work. that was stressful. We had never bought a car before, so it was really frustrating.
We ended up getting everything sorted out, but it took me a good 2 weeks to start adjusting. There wasn't a day out of those first 2 weeks here that I didn't cry. I felt so alone, so upset, so depressed. I missed my friends from keesler. I missed being so close to a beach. I missed our beautiful house there. I HATED this base. I hated everything about it those first couple weeks. There are days now that I still have this piece of hatred for GA. I dont know why I hate it so much, or hated it rather.
I'm doing better now. I'm going to the gym again, which has made me feel a ton better. I've got a friend here already (thank God for a mutual friend who set us up!), I'm learning my way around....and I was just getting content with the fact that I could go to the store whenever because it is within walking distance...when...GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. Seriously? *sigh* one thing after another, lol. Luckily, we're one of the few bases that has other forms of grocery stores nearby. I feel bad for my friends who have to drive 45 min + to the nearest grocery store because their commissary shut down. :\ this is all so childish.
We have a lake in our neighborhood (that also happens to be home to a decently sized alligator--YIKES), but its so pretty in the mornings when the sun is coming up. We have stables on base that we get to run by when we do our 5k trail---as most of you know I love horses, so this is awesome. We are slowly acclimating to Daniel's schedule...though every time we get used to it, something else changes. haha. We've been doing good on our eating the past few weeks and have only gotten fast food 2 times since all the moving stuff finished...which is excellent for us. :)
Titan is doing good--as big of a dork as he ever has been. We're still frustrated that we dont have a fence, nor do we have the money to get a fence. Taking him out is a real pain in the butt....especially because he wants to chase the birds in our backyard, play with the kids next door, try to play with the neighbor's dog. -.- every. 5. minutes. haha.
we do have a forest across a creek from our backyard and every once in a while when we're taking Titan out in the morning we see deer! :) its sooo cool! Though i think it may be dangerous here in a few months. haha.
I think my biggest thing about here is its more permanent than Keesler. With Keesler, we were only there for 6 months. Here? 2 years minimum. We're hoping we go somewhere else after 2 years, but with the military you never know. We're hoping for FL, CO, Italy, England, or Japan next. sooo we'll see what happens. For now, I'm going to continue making the best out of this base. Despite the mean people who run me over at the commissary or glare at me at the gym... I will enjoy myself. Daniel and I have a lot of cool things we can go do (Greek festival coming up the 18th-20th in macon that we're excited about).... and there are options for date nights not far from base, so we'll enjoy ourselves.
We plan on coming home the week of Christmas. I'm hoping he can get leave on the 18th-28th that way we can go do something for our anniversary since last year he was at BMT. :)
Anyways, sorry for the ramble..just thought I'd update everyone and let ya'll know that no matter how crappy you may think something is, its only as crappy as you make it. So make the most of it. Especially if you're stuck there for 2 years! haha.
love you guys!
Anyways. That phrase is something I've really had to put into play the past few weeks. As you guys know, we have officially PCSed to Georgia or "the big peach" as people call it. Its strange. Everything went okay with the move, but once we got here I felt like the world was falling apart. We had bought a new car while we were home for those two weeks, and as soon as we get to GA and get in our house the dealership was calling with a million problems telling us we were going to have to come BACK to AL to re-fill out all the paper work. that was stressful. We had never bought a car before, so it was really frustrating.
We ended up getting everything sorted out, but it took me a good 2 weeks to start adjusting. There wasn't a day out of those first 2 weeks here that I didn't cry. I felt so alone, so upset, so depressed. I missed my friends from keesler. I missed being so close to a beach. I missed our beautiful house there. I HATED this base. I hated everything about it those first couple weeks. There are days now that I still have this piece of hatred for GA. I dont know why I hate it so much, or hated it rather.
I'm doing better now. I'm going to the gym again, which has made me feel a ton better. I've got a friend here already (thank God for a mutual friend who set us up!), I'm learning my way around....and I was just getting content with the fact that I could go to the store whenever because it is within walking distance...when...GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. Seriously? *sigh* one thing after another, lol. Luckily, we're one of the few bases that has other forms of grocery stores nearby. I feel bad for my friends who have to drive 45 min + to the nearest grocery store because their commissary shut down. :\ this is all so childish.
We have a lake in our neighborhood (that also happens to be home to a decently sized alligator--YIKES), but its so pretty in the mornings when the sun is coming up. We have stables on base that we get to run by when we do our 5k trail---as most of you know I love horses, so this is awesome. We are slowly acclimating to Daniel's schedule...though every time we get used to it, something else changes. haha. We've been doing good on our eating the past few weeks and have only gotten fast food 2 times since all the moving stuff finished...which is excellent for us. :)
Titan is doing good--as big of a dork as he ever has been. We're still frustrated that we dont have a fence, nor do we have the money to get a fence. Taking him out is a real pain in the butt....especially because he wants to chase the birds in our backyard, play with the kids next door, try to play with the neighbor's dog. -.- every. 5. minutes. haha.
we do have a forest across a creek from our backyard and every once in a while when we're taking Titan out in the morning we see deer! :) its sooo cool! Though i think it may be dangerous here in a few months. haha.
I think my biggest thing about here is its more permanent than Keesler. With Keesler, we were only there for 6 months. Here? 2 years minimum. We're hoping we go somewhere else after 2 years, but with the military you never know. We're hoping for FL, CO, Italy, England, or Japan next. sooo we'll see what happens. For now, I'm going to continue making the best out of this base. Despite the mean people who run me over at the commissary or glare at me at the gym... I will enjoy myself. Daniel and I have a lot of cool things we can go do (Greek festival coming up the 18th-20th in macon that we're excited about).... and there are options for date nights not far from base, so we'll enjoy ourselves.
We plan on coming home the week of Christmas. I'm hoping he can get leave on the 18th-28th that way we can go do something for our anniversary since last year he was at BMT. :)
Anyways, sorry for the ramble..just thought I'd update everyone and let ya'll know that no matter how crappy you may think something is, its only as crappy as you make it. So make the most of it. Especially if you're stuck there for 2 years! haha.
love you guys!
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