so last week, we did o.k......up until my dad asked what we wanted from chik-fil-a and i obligingly told him my order, ate it, and felt AWFUL afterwards...so i vowed--ahhh, i wont do that again this week. -.- well. i disappointed myself 3 more times. LOL. well....4 or 5 really. So Tuesday, not only did i work all day, i also had a "training class" at 630p downtown....so i was like "oh man, i'm just gonna do a slimfast, we'll be good." so i drank a slimfast, had a cheese stick, and left. was in that class for a little over an hour and a half ...and was STARVING and shaking when i got done. so i stopped at Krystal (dont ask...random cravings...really gotta stop that). and at that at 8p. at night. yeah...not too proud. Wednesday, I had an AWFUL day at work...so as an attempt to get my mind off it, Daniel took me to dinner at our favorite restaurant, Chili's. I actually didn't eat too terribly there...i barely ate any of my steak or fries...and saved it for lunch the next day...idk...something about me being so upset made me queasy or something.... then thursday i ate pretty well.... but we went to bed really late thursday night because Ashley came over...then David showed up (he wasn't supposed to be home til friday!) lol so we were up a while... so we didn't go to the gym at 5 Friday morning. I haven't been since. -.- BECAUSE...
Friday night i got home from work in an awful mood, and i wanted to go out for drinks. so we got ready, and headed to Mellow Mushroom and had drinks. I had 3 of my faves, and that about did me. I was super giddy the rest of the night. we went and saw the 1045 showing of The Avengers, and from what I remember of it, it was really good. I did refrain from getting popcorn......partially because its expensive and we have no money. LOL. but so i woke up Sat with a killer headache that did not go away really until yesterday afternoon sometime. (alcohol + crazy a** alabama weather=migrane) so no gym. either day. but i didn't eat awful...partially cuz i felt awful. lol.
today? didnt go to the gym because once again, we went to bed late because the power went out while my sheets and comforter were in the washer/dryer. -.- that was lame. but yeah...planning on getting back on it probably tomorrow...but idk...may wait til next monday just cuz it seems like this week is gonna be a crazy one and idk... i feel bad...i haven't logged any calories since last friday...and stuff...but... i just...idk... I keep telling myself it will get easier when Daniel is in basic...because i can really focus on me...but i need to START now. if i don't, i'll be wayyy behind.
I need help. I need a different schedule or something.... i was doing really good for a while there...almost thought it was working...but then last Monday just kinda killed it and idk... Daniel said when he was losing the weight, he had that happen...where he'd be doing really good then one meal and KABLAMO there went his self-control. -.- idk... i thought having a full-time schedule would keep me busy enough to make it easy...but it doesn't when we can't eat anything but the kid's calorie-laden foods. what am i supposed to do when i'm shaking and need to eat something, and all i have sitting in front of me is a hamburger and tater tots?? let my blood sugar get so low that i get a killer headache i can't get rid of or even worse, pass out? I think not. I'm hoping my blood sugar issues will go away as i lose weight...but i doubt it.
On a plus side, I have noticed some changes. (TMI)_my bras are all too big. like...i could fit another whole b-cup boob in there with mine. -.- like seriously? i've only lost 8lbs, what the heck? laaamee. I told Daniel at this rate when i get down to my goal weight of 130, I'll probably be an a-cup. he about cried. LOL
*sigh*
anyways. idk. i guess i just wanted to let you guys know that this past week was awful...and i haven't had time to sit down and admit anything to ya'll yet. so here ya go. ya'll really do help keep me accountable. Idk. I just wish there was an easier way to stay on track. I know its never going to be easy...but...for some reason, i just let myself go. Again i repeat I HAVE NOT GAINED ANYTHING. yet. so thats good. I'm still sitting at 250. just haven't been able to get below that yet. I know I need to just keep pushing on. I cried to Daniel the other night...i feel like i always do this. Its a form of self-sabotage. This is what i've always done. i do good for a few weeks...then BAM...goodbye weight loss, hellooooooo fat! idk. I know i need to have better self control than that...but its awfully hard...specially in my situation.
well...if you have anything you'd like to tell me, let me have it. i need a good kick in the butt right now.
adios
Hey, Beth! It's Heather (if you can't tell by the photo :p). We haven't talked much in a LONG time, but my Daniel and I are trying to lose weight, too. We're having issues with getting started as well.
ReplyDeleteI've slowly lost some weight over the past two years, but very slowly because I haven't really tried since the end of 2010/beginning of 2011. In 2010 I was at 210. Now I'm somewhere between 180 and 190 and have stayed at this for quite a while because we haven't been dieting (we eat SO BAD sometimes) and I'm having a bad time of working up the motivation to really start a workout routine.
I really need to work on it, though. Remember how we used to joke that I'd die of a heart attack by 40 because I tend toward high stress and reacting physically do it? :p Well, I've been on beta blockers for high blood pressure since I was 21. It's hereditary, but it's also my weight. I need to lose 20 or 30lbs so I can lessen the dosage or no longer require medication to avoid having hypertension.
I suppose I was hoping we could try to work up motivation together. It's difficult to adjust lifestyles. You can't beat yourself up about it--all you can do is acknowledge that you MUST do better and then DO IT.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done, I know.
heather, i couldn't agree more. and yes, i remember those conversations...i remember us joking about me dying at an early age too because i eat too much. LOL. but yes, we should work on trying to motivate each other. i'm not really beating myself up, i just... idk. i wanted everyone to know that its not going as smoothly as i let on. lol.. which its not supposed to be easy.
ReplyDeleteHey girl! Do you log calories on MyFitnessPal by chance? If so, find me on there. Screen name is kkgaskin90. The last two weeks for me have been a total waste of diet but thank goodness I somehow managed to lose weight...stress maybe? Anyways. Miss you!
ReplyDeletemiss you too, karrie!!! and i use sparkpeople...though haven't logged since last week sometime... i think last friday. which is only like...5 days of not logging, but still. and yeah probably stress...or running around...it happens!
ReplyDelete