I also have come to the conclusion that I make excuses. A lot. "I don't feel good" or "that took too long, so i'm not going" or "i just don't want to." I'm tired of my crap. lol. I'm a b**** at home because of stress and stuff... I mean I get stressed out over the effing cars. Like seriously? When did a parking space matter? NEVER. Good grief. I do NOT like what i've been turning into. I think a lot of it has to do with 4 major things:
1) Stress at work
2) Stress at home
3) Stress over money
4) My temper
While I've gotten a tad better about my temper since marrying Daniel, I still let it get the best of me sometimes and I hate it. I believe a lot of this stress is about to change and make it to where I'm not so tired, sick, irritable, ect... I think the stress i've been under for the last 4 months is why i've been so sick...and why i'm always exhausted. What i've learned is that stress IS exhausting. I don't need to live like this! OMG I'M GOING TO DIE AT 35 IF I KEEP THIS UP! lol so here is why i believe things are getting better.
1) Daniel got a job. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. HALLELUJAH! That will help with the money stress. CHECK.
2) I'm starting in a new classroom (tomorrow actually...) with a lead who is pretty down to earth. so there goes my work stress *hopefully*. CHECK
3) I've been working on trying to calm myself. "Meditating" when i can. i'm not really sure how to do it... but i've been attempting for a few days...while my temper can sometimes just come out of nowhere, I think i've finally figured out when it starts to flare and I end up turning around and walking out of the situation...whilst that can cause other issues (because when i walk away with my temper, I tend to walk a bit heavier and shut doors a tad bit harder...whoops) it makes me step away from whatever caused it to flare up, realize i was being a crazy b**** and go back and apologize once i've calmed myself down....a few more weeks like that and MAYBE i wont lose my temper in the first place....who knows...unfortunately i think thats something i'm always going to be fighting, but...you live with what God has given...and you learn to tame your inner evil. lol
I've come to the conclusion that the stress at home wont really go away until Daniel and I move. Theres just too many people living here. I'm soo thankful for my parents and all they've done for us, and we would be out on the streets if they hadn't come up with this solution. That being said, nobody ever anticipated 3 families living under one roof. While it is great to have CJ and Megs around and not all the way in freaking Utah, its gonna put more stress on everyone. Including Meg and CJ. Its inevitable. Theres just too many personalities, lifestyles, feelings, ect involved and its crazy. NOW THAT BEING SAID, there are things we could and will start doing soon that will help ease some of the tensions and stress and all that....so...HOPEFULLY things will start slowly getting better...if not.. welll.....its only temporary. ;) lol
Now that i've gotten all the nasty business about why i haven't been so hard on myself when i don't do so well on my eating....lol...lets get to the part that i started this blog for in the first place. my weight.
Despite all this, I haven't done too terribly bad eating/drinking wise. I've been doing pretty well actually...aside from a trip to Chili's with my bestie and daniel, and i think fast food twice over the last couple weeks... but i'm really proud of myself. I have been good about what i drink. REALLY GOOD. I had a coke yesterday at lunch (on accident, you get in a habit of ordering something and i was in a hurry so i ordered it and left and was like CRAP)...but aside from that, i've only had my morning coffee, a fruit protein smoothie and WATER to drink every day for the last week now. Thats a feat, especially for me because I used to be the girl who would drink 6-8 cokes a day, sweet tea, juice, ect. i'm so stinking proud of myself.
So that being said, I would like to say that i am unofficially joining Team beachbody (i say unofficially because i'm not actually signing up for it, just doing the workout)...and starting Insanity. I probably wont start it until next Friday....or even possibly September 7...it just depends...i gotta figure out whats gonna work best with the things i'm going to have going on over the next few months...but i'm starting it. its not gonna be easy. its going to be damn hard. but Ash wants to do it, daniel said he'd do it with me, and both of my sisters said they want to try it too...so i have a pretty large support group to help me out. :) not to mention Daniel's friends Parker, Nathan, Ian, and Dillon are all doing it too...soooo yeah. we have the dvd's thanks to my amazing father in law and so i'm going to do it. I don't have to drive to do it...so...i think i can keep that up a bit easier than getting up early to drive to the gym, work out, drive back, and shower. :)
So now comes to the questions. I need to know, how much sleep do i need to be getting? I read differently all over the place... some say 7.5, some say 8, some even say 10. I need to know. right now i'm going to bed between 930 and 1030...and waking up around 6 and falling back to sleep until 650 or 7. so thats about 8.5 to 10hours every night...and i have an extremely hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. that needs to stop.
next quesiton. how can i get myself to wake up faster? is there anything i can do that will help me to get my butt out of bed? or is that sheer willpower?
I'm so tired of being TIRED...and again i say--that may change once i start exercising again, and sleeping the correct amount and my stress at work and with money starts to diminish.
Anyways. I guess i'm done...but if you have any tips you'd like to share or recipes or any kind of comment--feel free to post or message me on fb. :)
this is my mantra for Insanity. lol
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