Wow, these last few weeks have been crazy. I started my new job back in the beginning of April, and that keeps me pretty busy. I'm working about 40ish hours most weeks (sometimes only 30, but for the most part, 40), so its been pretty much full time. I have been trying to get to the gym and cook and clean and most of the time? Cleaning goes amiss.
I've been feeling rather discouraged lately. Today a lot more than usual. I don't know, I just feel like my weight is never going away--and thats a terrible thing. If I think this way, it makes me sad...sadness doesn't help me, it hurts me. I get so frustrated. I've been the same weight for the last 3 weeks. I didn't lose anything on my 24 Day Challenge... I felt better, yes, but didn't lose anything. I've been working out consistently (at 430, mind you). We eat clean... we haven't eaten out since David's graduation last weekend--which really is a feat for us...and we hadn't eaten out in a week or so prior to his graduation...so we've been doing really good. I DONT UNDERSTAND.
I'm so frustrated right now. I just... I dont know. Maybe its because I'm so stressed all the time? I try to relax, but theres always so much going on and I can hardly do anything anymore. Its stressful trying to carve time to go to the gym. I NEED to go to the gym more not less. I can't. :\ Idk if I need to add more? I dont want to burn out, but I also NEED to lose this. I need it to be gone. I'm so tired of trying at this point. I know its not going to happen overnight, but its just frustrating. I feel like I've been with this constant battle for years and getting NOWHERE.
Daniel and I finally decided when we would stop preventing, so in other words, start trying to start our family. When I hit 175. I feel like thats never going to happen at this point. We set up little mini goals. my first one? To get past 230. I'm supposed to be at that goal by the 18th. I should have been down to 231 or 232 for that to happen. I'm not. I've been sitting at 234-237 for the past month. I'm. SO. over it. I don't know. I try. I really do. We eat so good when we're home. Going back and forth between my nanny job doesn't help, but its not that bad. I usually take my own food with me so i will have plenty of healthier options to eat (instead of always eating the baby's food--lol that used to be my biggest downfall when i'd babysit!!!) but for some reason i never budge.
I've been thinking a lot about sugar lately. Maybe I should cut it out? I eat a lot of berries, greek yogurt, and bananas--though after entering a banana into MFP--i have already cut back on those a TON. they have over 40g of sugar in ONE BANANA. ridiculous. Never would have guessed it... I just dont really know how to cut back on it while still enjoying it...If i completely cut it out--that automatically sets me up for failure...because I'm putting a big YOU CANT EAT THIS label on it...so therefore--reverse psychology kicks in and i'm like MUST EAT ALL OF IT I CAN. lol I dont know.
I'm just really feeling discouraged. I'm just tired of it. I wish I could just wish it all away. :( I'm ready to start my family, and I'm the one holding us back. :(
Thats all for today I guess. I can't really think of anything else.
-Beth
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Allons-y!
Ah, my favorite phrase from my favorite Doctor. ;) He would use this phrase all the time when he was entering an area he'd never entered, when he was facing any new battle or challenge. I figured this was a fitting title to my post today. My definition of Allons-Y is the equivalent of "here goes nothing!"
Its been about two months since I posted last. Not too much has changed, but there are some things going forward that yes, I am terrified of. Yes, there will be new challenges. yes, I am ready for it. so?
Its been about two months since I posted last. Not too much has changed, but there are some things going forward that yes, I am terrified of. Yes, there will be new challenges. yes, I am ready for it. so?
ALLONS-Y!
I am ready for it. I have a new found hope to my weight loss. I know I know, you guys have heard me go back and forth. But.... the thing is... I never admitted to myself why I was having so much trouble. Until the other night. Hubs and I were doing our devotional (Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs--fantastic one! get the workbook too!) and we were discussing some things that he needed to work on according to the book...and it got us talking about some things I needed to work on...and all of a sudden I said it. What I guess I knew at the back of my mind, but never admitted, even to myself.
"I don't believe in myself."
Let me just tell you, coming to that realization.... admitting it to myself and to my husband... it was hard. Once I realized what I said, I broke down. Its true. I dont believe in myself. I dont think I can do it. I realized that is what has been holding me back. As soon as I start to get in a good habit and start doing well, I freak out and stop trusting myself and God.... I let myself fall backwards. I can't do that anymore. Something happened that night when I admitted that to myself. I have felt like a new person, felt like I can do this...because of course, my husband was very adamant about how much he believed in me and how he KNEW i could do this.
Why don't I believe in myself? Well, to be honest--its all in my past. I grew up overweight, in an overweight family. My friends were, for the most part super skinny. I grew up watching them wishing I could be that weight, but at the same time going home and eating whatever I wanted. We ate starches and breads with our big portions of meat. I ate ice cream like it was going out of style. I tried all the fads out there, and would gain the little I lost back. I didn't allow myself to venture into the unknown territory, and now, I have a fear of it. Some may say thats crazy, but its a true fear. I want to have children, but I need to lose weight before I get pregnant. That KILLS me. Because when I think i can't lose the weight, then i start thinking "omg, i'm never going to have babies of my own." And thats not good for me.
But, like I said, this God-sent message to myself....I needed to say it. I needed to admit it. Because now? I know how to FIGHT it. I may still have a hard time believing in myself (hey, its only been 3 days!), but I know why I'm having issues. I know the root of it. As long as I stay in the Word, my husband encourages me like he's so good at, and I surround myself with friends who want the same things--i'll get there. As I reach goals, I'll start believing in myself again. Its just hard to do after so many "failures."
I have started Weight Watchers again. I did so well on it when I was consistent with it. So as long as I stay consistent, set goals like I did for Daniel's BMT grad, and really hunker down on what foods I'm making, I should be good as gold. :)
My first goal? I would like to be 15-20lbs down by April 7. I start my new job as a nanny that day. :) (Like i said, lots going on, new challenges, should be fun!) That gives me about 7 weeks to lose it, so thats about a 2lb/week loss minus the first week or two which should be slightly higher losses (*hopefully*). Lets hope I start believing in myself soon, right?
Started out this morning with a gym workout with my amazing hubs. Yes, we got out in the FREEZING COLD rain/sleet at 5 AM to workout. was I happy about it? NOPE. I wanted to curl back up in my warm bed and sleep. Did I push myself anyways? Yup. :) I did two laps jogging, one lap walking, two laps jogging, one lap walking, 2 laps sprinting the short sides/jogging the long sides, walked a lap, 2 laps sprinting short sides/jogging the long sides, walked 1/2 lap, jogged short sides, sprinted one long side, walked half lap, jogged short sides, sprinted one long side, then did a walking cool down for 2 laps. so that was a total of 15 laps (on a 0.1mi track) in about 30 minutes. I'd say it was a pretty good workout...i was surely sweating up a storm! I was supposed to swim later, but I'm pretty sure the roads are going to be an icy mess. Maybe I'll just do some planks, cruches, and pushups later. :)
I can't wait to see what God has in store for me over the next year! They will be exciting, difficult, fun, and wonderful. Here's to challenges!
Allons-y!
-Beth
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
One Fast, Crazy Year.
Wow! I can't believe its already been a year since Daniel left for basic. Its been such a whirlwind year--from the lonely anniversary and Christmas, to bmt graduation, to moving to Keesler, moving to Ga, and all the fun stuff in between. I can't even put into words how blown away I am at all that has happened this last year.
As most of you know, this time last year I was a mess. I didn't cry when he left-I kissed him goodbye and watched as his mom and aunt lost it. I stayed strong. I didn't even cry when I got home. It wasn't until we said goodbye on skype the night before he got on that plane to San Antonio that it really set in "Oh my...this is really happening." We had our tears on the call, we said our goodbyes. And then he was off to become an Airman. That was 2 days before our 3rd wedding anniversary. That was an extremely hard day. The few of you who were able to see me, you know I was completely beside myself. So I was depressed for a few days there...but I had a voicemail from Daniel that really helped. The first phone call came Christmas Day around 7p---while we were eating dinner. I literally flew off the couch (mom and dad can testify to that--LOL) and ran to my room. I stayed strong that entire call, I was so happy to hear his voice. I just wanted him to talk...
So thats how the first couple weeks went. I waited for the phone to ring. I worked out. I tried to busy myself. As the time got closer to his BMT graduation, I was getting more and more antsy. I bought my plane tickets super early (I knew he wasn't gonna get recycled! He's too good for that! :P), made plans to get my hair done, pictures done, everything...then patiently waited for Feb 12.
BMT Graduation weekend was CRAZY. I got to see him on Valentine's Day (best Valentine's present ever!), and I was beyond happy. It went by super fast. I found out that I was moving to Keesler that day, but we had no idea when. We spent time with his family on Friday after the Graduation parade, ate at Chilis (one of our *used to be* favorite restaurants), and just relaxed. Saturday the two of us went to downtown San Antonio and the Riverwalk. it was gorgeous. We ate some good food, walked around, and just spent some time being us. Sunday we went to Cheddars and then went back to the hotel to be lazy. It was so hard to say goodbye that night. The only thing we knew was we'd be together again soon.
The first month of tech school went by fast--thankfully. He was able to text, skype, call, whatever he wanted--whenever he wanted outside of duty hours. I finally was able to move March 19. Best day ever. Seeing him again for the first time in a month after the tease BMT grad weekend gave was fantastic--especially because we got the keys to our first house that day! We were so happy. Within 2 weeks of me moving there, he was able to move in with me. The next 6 months were fantastic, brutally hot, and filled with fun. I met new friends, I saw things I've never seen, I learned how to clean a 2 story 3-br house--and do it well (lol). I learned that sand is pesky and will follow you forever. We got our first puppy there. His name was Odin--he was precious...but due to an unknown infestation of hookworms at the time we got him--he died 4 days later. A week later we decided to try again and went to the humane society--got a GS puppy because we thought thats what we wanted...... She turned out to be extremely aggressive and we were forced to return her--which is where Titan came in. He was the SWEETEST pup. The biggest of his brothers and sisters in the pen with him. And he's doing alright--lol. 9 months old now! I learned a lot about fitness there from one of my good friends...She gave me a bunch of workouts/circuits I can do in or out of a gym. I became addicted to Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and Starbucks (thanks girls. -.- lol). We made it through tech school easy peasy...but when it was time to leave--it was so sad.
Graduation for tech school wasn't nearly as big as bmt. It was a small, intimate affair. We got to say goodbye to all of our friends. We all went out to dinner a few night prior. That very day we had our final inspection on our house--and passed with flying colors. We stayed in a TLF that was disgusting, and we got our stuff together. The morning after graduation--we hit the road. First stop--Brandon, MS to see Daniel's Aunts and grandmother. It was a good visit and I wish we could have stayed longer. After a couple days, we headed out to Tuscaloosa, AL to see Daniel's uncle and my brother. I love TTown. :) After a day or so there, we were off yet again to home. We were home for a whopping 2 weeks on RAP (recruiter assistance program). While we enjoyed being home and being able to see everyone--we definitely overstayed our welcome and probably will not stay longer than a week ever again unless we can stay in a hotel. IMHO. lol We ended up having to buy our first car while we were home because my suzuki decided it just had given up--lol. After RAP ended--we were off to our first duty station.
I've posted a little of whats been going on since we got here. I had the worst time adjusting. We got here and all the blinds were broken, the kitchen cabinets/counters were filthy, there were stains in the carpets, floors were disgusting--its a wonder this house passed inspection. We kept getting phone calls from the dealership where we bought the car saying we needed to come re-fill out paperwork--even though they KNEW we were in GA now. lol. It was a stressful first couple of weeks. While I only had one friend, I longed for my friends from keesler. I hadn't really gotten to know my new friend here yet, and I lived vicariously through my friends who moved to Japan, Utah, and California. I know thats bad--but thats where my mind was. I was so sad here.
3 months later--I'm doing much better here. I'm still not completely sold on this area--and I have my moments where I curse this town and its lack of EVERYTHING. But, I'm doing better. I have a few friends here, but I'd rather have a few good friends than a ton of acquaintances. We had Thanksgiving here this year and had a few people over. It was fun, but I probably wont do it again unless I get monetary help from all parties coming. It tanked us. lol. (mad props to those who do it every year and can afford it!). Since then we've had not a lot going on...Just trying to get some Christmas this year for everyone. We were actually able to get everyone something--God has blessed us more than we thought this month. :) We just got back on Sunday from a quick trip home to surprise Daniel's family at their annual Christmas party. It was so much fun. I loved the look on his mom and aunt's face when we surprised them. I also got to surprise my bestie--which was 20x more awesome! lol she about knocked me over when she realized it was me! :P She graduated this weekend from UAH for Nursing--so I was super proud and HAD to see her. :)
This week is short--thank God! Daniel works today and a half day tomorrow--then he's off until the 30. :) We have our 4th wedding anniversary on Thursday (can't believe that either--4 years already!!!), and then on Saturday we head to our grandparents in Bham--then home for Christmas! Its going to be fantastic! Daniel opened one gift this morning because it was his AF Anniversary gift. Cleats so he can play gatorball with the shop for PT, and a morph mug (changes color on a 8-bit pixel heart when hot liquid is put in there). He was so happy. :)
But anyways--as you see--its been a crazy year. We've had fun times, sad times, times where I was thoroughly over the AF, times where I hated myself for that. We've seen friends come and go, built new relationships that will last a lifetime, and grown in our own marriage. We've gotten a puppy and a kitten, learned what its like to lose a pet after trying so hard to save it. We've figured out when we want to start a family, and we're working towards those goals. We have learned so much about ourselves and each other--we are different than when this started a year ago. We are better than we were a year ago.
I used to look at military spouses and be like "i could never do that. i'm not that strong." This past year has taught me that I AM that strong. I can do this. A deployment will be hard, a TDY will be tough, but as long as we are together again when it ends--nothing else matters. Keep busy, and treat it like its BMT all over again. I know I can handle it now. I know it'll be hard, but I know I can do it.
Anyways--i know a nice long post! But its been a busy year. ;) Thats all for now.
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
-Beth-
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| Our last kiss before he got on the bus to BMT |
As most of you know, this time last year I was a mess. I didn't cry when he left-I kissed him goodbye and watched as his mom and aunt lost it. I stayed strong. I didn't even cry when I got home. It wasn't until we said goodbye on skype the night before he got on that plane to San Antonio that it really set in "Oh my...this is really happening." We had our tears on the call, we said our goodbyes. And then he was off to become an Airman. That was 2 days before our 3rd wedding anniversary. That was an extremely hard day. The few of you who were able to see me, you know I was completely beside myself. So I was depressed for a few days there...but I had a voicemail from Daniel that really helped. The first phone call came Christmas Day around 7p---while we were eating dinner. I literally flew off the couch (mom and dad can testify to that--LOL) and ran to my room. I stayed strong that entire call, I was so happy to hear his voice. I just wanted him to talk...
So thats how the first couple weeks went. I waited for the phone to ring. I worked out. I tried to busy myself. As the time got closer to his BMT graduation, I was getting more and more antsy. I bought my plane tickets super early (I knew he wasn't gonna get recycled! He's too good for that! :P), made plans to get my hair done, pictures done, everything...then patiently waited for Feb 12.
BMT Graduation weekend was CRAZY. I got to see him on Valentine's Day (best Valentine's present ever!), and I was beyond happy. It went by super fast. I found out that I was moving to Keesler that day, but we had no idea when. We spent time with his family on Friday after the Graduation parade, ate at Chilis (one of our *used to be* favorite restaurants), and just relaxed. Saturday the two of us went to downtown San Antonio and the Riverwalk. it was gorgeous. We ate some good food, walked around, and just spent some time being us. Sunday we went to Cheddars and then went back to the hotel to be lazy. It was so hard to say goodbye that night. The only thing we knew was we'd be together again soon.
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| Us and our pup, Titan, on Biloxi Beach |
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| me and my girls Lani and Nichole |
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| everyone at dinner at BWW for my birthday |
I've posted a little of whats been going on since we got here. I had the worst time adjusting. We got here and all the blinds were broken, the kitchen cabinets/counters were filthy, there were stains in the carpets, floors were disgusting--its a wonder this house passed inspection. We kept getting phone calls from the dealership where we bought the car saying we needed to come re-fill out paperwork--even though they KNEW we were in GA now. lol. It was a stressful first couple of weeks. While I only had one friend, I longed for my friends from keesler. I hadn't really gotten to know my new friend here yet, and I lived vicariously through my friends who moved to Japan, Utah, and California. I know thats bad--but thats where my mind was. I was so sad here.
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| at the Christmas Party where we surprised everyone |
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| my little man, CJ on our trip home |
This week is short--thank God! Daniel works today and a half day tomorrow--then he's off until the 30. :) We have our 4th wedding anniversary on Thursday (can't believe that either--4 years already!!!), and then on Saturday we head to our grandparents in Bham--then home for Christmas! Its going to be fantastic! Daniel opened one gift this morning because it was his AF Anniversary gift. Cleats so he can play gatorball with the shop for PT, and a morph mug (changes color on a 8-bit pixel heart when hot liquid is put in there). He was so happy. :)
But anyways--as you see--its been a crazy year. We've had fun times, sad times, times where I was thoroughly over the AF, times where I hated myself for that. We've seen friends come and go, built new relationships that will last a lifetime, and grown in our own marriage. We've gotten a puppy and a kitten, learned what its like to lose a pet after trying so hard to save it. We've figured out when we want to start a family, and we're working towards those goals. We have learned so much about ourselves and each other--we are different than when this started a year ago. We are better than we were a year ago.
I used to look at military spouses and be like "i could never do that. i'm not that strong." This past year has taught me that I AM that strong. I can do this. A deployment will be hard, a TDY will be tough, but as long as we are together again when it ends--nothing else matters. Keep busy, and treat it like its BMT all over again. I know I can handle it now. I know it'll be hard, but I know I can do it.
Anyways--i know a nice long post! But its been a busy year. ;) Thats all for now.
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Thanksgiving
Its that time of year again! The time of the year where all thoughts of dieting and working out pretty much fly out the window. That time of the year where everyone is happy and full of the giving spirit--well, for the most part at least.
What I am thankful for:
I love this time of the year. I love the fall colors, I love the cooler weather, I love spending time with family. While I'm sad that I wont be able to go to MS with my family for Thanksgiving this year, I am so thankful that I'm being able to share it with friends that aren't able to go home. Its been a real difficult week trying to get all the groceries needed on our limited budget, but we were able to. I'm looking forward to it.
We also get to go home in 3 weeks, so thats helping. Daniel got leave approved for Dec 19-29! :) so we will hopefully get to do something for our anniversary AND go home. hopefully. We really want to go somewhere since on our anniversary last year he was at BMT.
Its been interesting here so far. I'm still struggling with getting acclimated here, but i'm working on it. We finally got pictures put up on the walls, and our curtains...and we get to put up our Christmas tree on Saturday! I am excited! :) I love Christmas decorations and this is the first year we actually have a REAL tree (and by real i mean a decent size, fake tree--lol!) and decorations! I'm going to buy lights tomorrow most likely! :) hooray! :P
Other than that, nothing is really happening in our world. Just trying to make the most of everything that gets thrown at us and enjoying spending time together.
To end this rather short post (i thought I had more to say today, but apparently not) I'll do the usual cliche list:
What I am thankful for:
1) I am thankful for my husband. He is my rock, my coach, my cheerleader--he is my everything. He knows how to make me smile even when i dont think I can. He listens, he understands, he loves unconditionally. I am so thankful for him.
2) I am thankful for the AF. They may not always do what I want them to do, but they have given my husband a job he enjoys, a stable job. They have allowed us to make friends that I would have never met if we had not joined. They have given us more than I expected, and as irritated as I get with them, I am very grateful.
3) I am thankful for my family. They have been supporting us from day one, and I am so grateful. Its hard being away from them, but they try to talk to me as much as possible...and some days I call my mom what seems like 100 times a day because I just miss her and want to hear her voice--thankfully she puts up with it! lol
there is so much that i am thankful for this holiday season, those are just the top few. I guess i should probably get to cleaning or cooking or something now. lol I have to make my famous mashed potato casserole today! and get our bathrooms and carpets cleaned. (funnn)
talk to you all later. :)
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Brave
"You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug. You can be the outcast, or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love. Or you can start speaking up. Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle 'neath your skin. Kept on the inside and no sunlight, sometimes a shadow wins. I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out--Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."
--Brave by Sara Bareilles--
I came across this song about a week ago while I was trying to scramble to get new songs to workout to. I am sooo in love with it. It is saying everything I needed to be told for years. Be brave. Speak up. Dont let them walk all over you. I wish this song had come out while I was in high school....the Lord knows I just sat there quietly. Like Katy Perry says in "Roar:"
"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath--scared to rock the boat and make a mess...So I sat quietly, agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice, I let you push me past my breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything."
These two songs...they have really helped me over the past few weeks. I've been struggling with being here. I've been having a hard time... and these songs? They are awesome. Katy Perry is not usually one of my favorite go-to artists, but that song...idk. it hit home. because here? I'm over it. "you held me down, but I got up--already brushing off the dust.....you held me down, but i got up--get ready cuz i've had enough!" I mean, I'm ready. I'm working my butt off to lose this weight. i finally have the motivation, the strength, the courage. I'm ready to change.
I started this journey at a whopping 250+. I am currently at 227. 2 lbs away from losing 25. I could have probably been 50lbs down by now had I actually worked the entire 6 months I was at keesler, but...we all know how change goes. Here--theres nothing to do...so I workout. Well, I was working out...until I stupidly tried to run a 5k last week without "training up for it." -.- that was stupid. Though, I am proud of myself because I learned 2 things about myself:
1) I CAN RUN A 5K STRAIGHT! No walking!
2) I love running outside. Love it. never thought that would happen, haha.
I am a much stronger person than I was in high school. I've learned a lot over the past 5 years...wow..5 years since I graduated? dang. I'm getting old. lol. Daniel has had a lot to do with that. When I met him, I was still this shell of a person. Now? I am so much happier and I am so thankful for Daniel pulling me out of my "funk" and being as encouraging as he is. That one day we went out and ran together, he was constantly saying "Babe, if you just run a little farther, you would have run a whole mile," "come on baby, you have almost run a mile and a half without stopping! you got this," "babe! you just ran 2 whole miles without stopping! I am so proud of you!" he just didn't stop encouraging me the entire run. I have never had someone do that for me before, it showed me just how much he loves me. He's always encouraging me... I've never been more thankful. I couldn't do this without him and his support.
I say all this rambling because this is what it means to be brave. Taking a chance, a risk, and hoping that it will better you and those around you. You never know whats going to happen. Daniel joining the AF was brave--we dont know whats going to happen, but we trust God, and we went for it. Now we're stationed in GA, not our first pick, but I know we're here for a reason. Even if it was only to meet the amazing people I've met already. We are taking it one day at a time and making the most of our time here, even though the government has been stupid lately. This shutdown doesn't help my stress levels, thats for sure.
Anyways, I hope you guys all can agree--sometimes you have to be brave in order to achieve what you want. Even if that means standing up to the people who put you down, facing a problem you have been avoiding your whole life (like my weight), or just going after what you want. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
I hope you all have an amazing day. Be amazing. Be yourself.
Love you guys,
Beth
--Brave by Sara Bareilles--
I came across this song about a week ago while I was trying to scramble to get new songs to workout to. I am sooo in love with it. It is saying everything I needed to be told for years. Be brave. Speak up. Dont let them walk all over you. I wish this song had come out while I was in high school....the Lord knows I just sat there quietly. Like Katy Perry says in "Roar:"
"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath--scared to rock the boat and make a mess...So I sat quietly, agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice, I let you push me past my breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything."
These two songs...they have really helped me over the past few weeks. I've been struggling with being here. I've been having a hard time... and these songs? They are awesome. Katy Perry is not usually one of my favorite go-to artists, but that song...idk. it hit home. because here? I'm over it. "you held me down, but I got up--already brushing off the dust.....you held me down, but i got up--get ready cuz i've had enough!" I mean, I'm ready. I'm working my butt off to lose this weight. i finally have the motivation, the strength, the courage. I'm ready to change.
I started this journey at a whopping 250+. I am currently at 227. 2 lbs away from losing 25. I could have probably been 50lbs down by now had I actually worked the entire 6 months I was at keesler, but...we all know how change goes. Here--theres nothing to do...so I workout. Well, I was working out...until I stupidly tried to run a 5k last week without "training up for it." -.- that was stupid. Though, I am proud of myself because I learned 2 things about myself:
1) I CAN RUN A 5K STRAIGHT! No walking!
2) I love running outside. Love it. never thought that would happen, haha.
I am a much stronger person than I was in high school. I've learned a lot over the past 5 years...wow..5 years since I graduated? dang. I'm getting old. lol. Daniel has had a lot to do with that. When I met him, I was still this shell of a person. Now? I am so much happier and I am so thankful for Daniel pulling me out of my "funk" and being as encouraging as he is. That one day we went out and ran together, he was constantly saying "Babe, if you just run a little farther, you would have run a whole mile," "come on baby, you have almost run a mile and a half without stopping! you got this," "babe! you just ran 2 whole miles without stopping! I am so proud of you!" he just didn't stop encouraging me the entire run. I have never had someone do that for me before, it showed me just how much he loves me. He's always encouraging me... I've never been more thankful. I couldn't do this without him and his support.
I say all this rambling because this is what it means to be brave. Taking a chance, a risk, and hoping that it will better you and those around you. You never know whats going to happen. Daniel joining the AF was brave--we dont know whats going to happen, but we trust God, and we went for it. Now we're stationed in GA, not our first pick, but I know we're here for a reason. Even if it was only to meet the amazing people I've met already. We are taking it one day at a time and making the most of our time here, even though the government has been stupid lately. This shutdown doesn't help my stress levels, thats for sure.
Anyways, I hope you guys all can agree--sometimes you have to be brave in order to achieve what you want. Even if that means standing up to the people who put you down, facing a problem you have been avoiding your whole life (like my weight), or just going after what you want. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
I hope you all have an amazing day. Be amazing. Be yourself.
Love you guys,
Beth
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Life is what YOU make it.
Hah, everytime I hear those words I automatically go into the whole "Life's what you make it so lets make it ROCK!" from Hannah Montana. Yes I used to watch that show. No I'm not ashamed.... lol
Anyways. That phrase is something I've really had to put into play the past few weeks. As you guys know, we have officially PCSed to Georgia or "the big peach" as people call it. Its strange. Everything went okay with the move, but once we got here I felt like the world was falling apart. We had bought a new car while we were home for those two weeks, and as soon as we get to GA and get in our house the dealership was calling with a million problems telling us we were going to have to come BACK to AL to re-fill out all the paper work. that was stressful. We had never bought a car before, so it was really frustrating.
We ended up getting everything sorted out, but it took me a good 2 weeks to start adjusting. There wasn't a day out of those first 2 weeks here that I didn't cry. I felt so alone, so upset, so depressed. I missed my friends from keesler. I missed being so close to a beach. I missed our beautiful house there. I HATED this base. I hated everything about it those first couple weeks. There are days now that I still have this piece of hatred for GA. I dont know why I hate it so much, or hated it rather.
I'm doing better now. I'm going to the gym again, which has made me feel a ton better. I've got a friend here already (thank God for a mutual friend who set us up!), I'm learning my way around....and I was just getting content with the fact that I could go to the store whenever because it is within walking distance...when...GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. Seriously? *sigh* one thing after another, lol. Luckily, we're one of the few bases that has other forms of grocery stores nearby. I feel bad for my friends who have to drive 45 min + to the nearest grocery store because their commissary shut down. :\ this is all so childish.
We have a lake in our neighborhood (that also happens to be home to a decently sized alligator--YIKES), but its so pretty in the mornings when the sun is coming up. We have stables on base that we get to run by when we do our 5k trail---as most of you know I love horses, so this is awesome. We are slowly acclimating to Daniel's schedule...though every time we get used to it, something else changes. haha. We've been doing good on our eating the past few weeks and have only gotten fast food 2 times since all the moving stuff finished...which is excellent for us. :)
Titan is doing good--as big of a dork as he ever has been. We're still frustrated that we dont have a fence, nor do we have the money to get a fence. Taking him out is a real pain in the butt....especially because he wants to chase the birds in our backyard, play with the kids next door, try to play with the neighbor's dog. -.- every. 5. minutes. haha.
we do have a forest across a creek from our backyard and every once in a while when we're taking Titan out in the morning we see deer! :) its sooo cool! Though i think it may be dangerous here in a few months. haha.
I think my biggest thing about here is its more permanent than Keesler. With Keesler, we were only there for 6 months. Here? 2 years minimum. We're hoping we go somewhere else after 2 years, but with the military you never know. We're hoping for FL, CO, Italy, England, or Japan next. sooo we'll see what happens. For now, I'm going to continue making the best out of this base. Despite the mean people who run me over at the commissary or glare at me at the gym... I will enjoy myself. Daniel and I have a lot of cool things we can go do (Greek festival coming up the 18th-20th in macon that we're excited about).... and there are options for date nights not far from base, so we'll enjoy ourselves.
We plan on coming home the week of Christmas. I'm hoping he can get leave on the 18th-28th that way we can go do something for our anniversary since last year he was at BMT. :)
Anyways, sorry for the ramble..just thought I'd update everyone and let ya'll know that no matter how crappy you may think something is, its only as crappy as you make it. So make the most of it. Especially if you're stuck there for 2 years! haha.
love you guys!
Anyways. That phrase is something I've really had to put into play the past few weeks. As you guys know, we have officially PCSed to Georgia or "the big peach" as people call it. Its strange. Everything went okay with the move, but once we got here I felt like the world was falling apart. We had bought a new car while we were home for those two weeks, and as soon as we get to GA and get in our house the dealership was calling with a million problems telling us we were going to have to come BACK to AL to re-fill out all the paper work. that was stressful. We had never bought a car before, so it was really frustrating.
We ended up getting everything sorted out, but it took me a good 2 weeks to start adjusting. There wasn't a day out of those first 2 weeks here that I didn't cry. I felt so alone, so upset, so depressed. I missed my friends from keesler. I missed being so close to a beach. I missed our beautiful house there. I HATED this base. I hated everything about it those first couple weeks. There are days now that I still have this piece of hatred for GA. I dont know why I hate it so much, or hated it rather.
I'm doing better now. I'm going to the gym again, which has made me feel a ton better. I've got a friend here already (thank God for a mutual friend who set us up!), I'm learning my way around....and I was just getting content with the fact that I could go to the store whenever because it is within walking distance...when...GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. Seriously? *sigh* one thing after another, lol. Luckily, we're one of the few bases that has other forms of grocery stores nearby. I feel bad for my friends who have to drive 45 min + to the nearest grocery store because their commissary shut down. :\ this is all so childish.
We have a lake in our neighborhood (that also happens to be home to a decently sized alligator--YIKES), but its so pretty in the mornings when the sun is coming up. We have stables on base that we get to run by when we do our 5k trail---as most of you know I love horses, so this is awesome. We are slowly acclimating to Daniel's schedule...though every time we get used to it, something else changes. haha. We've been doing good on our eating the past few weeks and have only gotten fast food 2 times since all the moving stuff finished...which is excellent for us. :)
Titan is doing good--as big of a dork as he ever has been. We're still frustrated that we dont have a fence, nor do we have the money to get a fence. Taking him out is a real pain in the butt....especially because he wants to chase the birds in our backyard, play with the kids next door, try to play with the neighbor's dog. -.- every. 5. minutes. haha.
we do have a forest across a creek from our backyard and every once in a while when we're taking Titan out in the morning we see deer! :) its sooo cool! Though i think it may be dangerous here in a few months. haha.
I think my biggest thing about here is its more permanent than Keesler. With Keesler, we were only there for 6 months. Here? 2 years minimum. We're hoping we go somewhere else after 2 years, but with the military you never know. We're hoping for FL, CO, Italy, England, or Japan next. sooo we'll see what happens. For now, I'm going to continue making the best out of this base. Despite the mean people who run me over at the commissary or glare at me at the gym... I will enjoy myself. Daniel and I have a lot of cool things we can go do (Greek festival coming up the 18th-20th in macon that we're excited about).... and there are options for date nights not far from base, so we'll enjoy ourselves.
We plan on coming home the week of Christmas. I'm hoping he can get leave on the 18th-28th that way we can go do something for our anniversary since last year he was at BMT. :)
Anyways, sorry for the ramble..just thought I'd update everyone and let ya'll know that no matter how crappy you may think something is, its only as crappy as you make it. So make the most of it. Especially if you're stuck there for 2 years! haha.
love you guys!
Monday, August 12, 2013
The list goes on as life comes fast.
Phew. its been a busy past few months, especially the last few weeks. we're getting ready to move next week..... yea, thats right. NEXT WEEK. its been bonkers around here lately! Daniel started block 11 (his last block at tech school) on Friday and graduates next Tuesday. We start our trek back home next Wednesday. While I am excited to get home, I'm also apprehensive.
Its going to be great to go home and see everyone, but I am just ready to get to Robins, get everything settled and get back into a routine. I had gotten so good about being on a routine...then moving stuff started coming faster and faster and before I knew it, I had no time left for the gym or to just do things I want to do...like lay out on the beach. i'm really hoping we go to a beach this coming weekend since its our last weekend here...but who knows. I'm so ready for a normal routine. no more weird schedules of 3a-4p or 2p to midnight. Daniel will be on a "normal" schedule most days of 730-430, unless theres something big coming up or something like that. i cannot wait! we're gonna try to get in the habit of working out together...haven't quite decided when that will be just yet, but we're not there yet--so i'm assuming we'll figure it out once we get there. :)
I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that Robins is where we're headed, theres no changing bases this close to the move.... so i'm trying to make the most of it. i found out that there is a dance studio that teaches adult dance classes ( i miss dance, and i think it will also aide in the weight loss)...so I'm excited to try a couple of those... I plan on becoming a member of the Enlisted Spouses Club there and going to meetings, as well as they are starting a "change my life" plan a couple weeks after we get there...which is basically a weight loss challenge. :) The annual Air Force Ball is also a couple weeks after we get there...not entirely sure if we'll go this year, but we will go next year if we dont go this year! :)
Its been a crazy ride so far in the USAF life. Definitely not something I'm used to, but I'm slowly getting used to it. Its strange....I look back 3 years ago...Daniel and I were newlyweds...we had no idea this is where God would lead us, but we are grateful he has led us here. We are so much better off now than before he enlisted, and we are learning new things daily. i've definitely gained some patience through all of this. Which in itself is probably one of the main reasons God led us to the AF--to teach me some PATIENCE. I've never been good at being patient... lol.
I've also met some wonderful people down here. I'm going to miss them. I'm not going to lie, i'm probably going to bawl my eyes out the day we leave. Hah, i'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. These girls have been amazing...we've been crazy, talked shit, laughed, cried, ranted, raved, almost died in random accidents due to MS crazy drivers...................sometimes that crazy driver being me. ;) We've made friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime...and hopefully we'll see each other again one day...if not because we get stationed at the same base its because i fly out to UT and we drive to CA. hahaha. and then maybe a quick hop over to Japan. man. this is crazy.
I know I'll make friends at Robins... i always do....I kinda have already through the spouses page (thank GOD)....and I'm glad I'll have 2 years with them instead of only 5 months. These past 5 months with these girls has been awesome. Even if we met because i was scared of my car drowning on the way to pick up my husband....or we met because I stalked you on facebook because my husband was already friends with yours...or if we met through a facebook group and talked for months before you actually got here. Making friends comes easy to me--it always has....but its the ones that change you that stick with you. Like my best friend Ashley back home....god I miss her...I can't wait to see her in a couple weeks! I know I'm always going to have these friends. We may not always talk, but they're there and they know that I'm always here if they ever need me. I'm going to miss you guys.
I guess I better stop being my usual sappy self and go do some cleaning/packing/organizing... i really want a nap though. lol gonna be a busy rest of my week, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm so proud of my husband and all he has accomplished and I can't wait to pin his career badge on next Tuesday. :)
for now, I bid you adieu. Next time you hear from me, I'll be at Robins. :)
-beth
Its going to be great to go home and see everyone, but I am just ready to get to Robins, get everything settled and get back into a routine. I had gotten so good about being on a routine...then moving stuff started coming faster and faster and before I knew it, I had no time left for the gym or to just do things I want to do...like lay out on the beach. i'm really hoping we go to a beach this coming weekend since its our last weekend here...but who knows. I'm so ready for a normal routine. no more weird schedules of 3a-4p or 2p to midnight. Daniel will be on a "normal" schedule most days of 730-430, unless theres something big coming up or something like that. i cannot wait! we're gonna try to get in the habit of working out together...haven't quite decided when that will be just yet, but we're not there yet--so i'm assuming we'll figure it out once we get there. :)
I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that Robins is where we're headed, theres no changing bases this close to the move.... so i'm trying to make the most of it. i found out that there is a dance studio that teaches adult dance classes ( i miss dance, and i think it will also aide in the weight loss)...so I'm excited to try a couple of those... I plan on becoming a member of the Enlisted Spouses Club there and going to meetings, as well as they are starting a "change my life" plan a couple weeks after we get there...which is basically a weight loss challenge. :) The annual Air Force Ball is also a couple weeks after we get there...not entirely sure if we'll go this year, but we will go next year if we dont go this year! :)
Its been a crazy ride so far in the USAF life. Definitely not something I'm used to, but I'm slowly getting used to it. Its strange....I look back 3 years ago...Daniel and I were newlyweds...we had no idea this is where God would lead us, but we are grateful he has led us here. We are so much better off now than before he enlisted, and we are learning new things daily. i've definitely gained some patience through all of this. Which in itself is probably one of the main reasons God led us to the AF--to teach me some PATIENCE. I've never been good at being patient... lol.
I've also met some wonderful people down here. I'm going to miss them. I'm not going to lie, i'm probably going to bawl my eyes out the day we leave. Hah, i'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. These girls have been amazing...we've been crazy, talked shit, laughed, cried, ranted, raved, almost died in random accidents due to MS crazy drivers...................sometimes that crazy driver being me. ;) We've made friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime...and hopefully we'll see each other again one day...if not because we get stationed at the same base its because i fly out to UT and we drive to CA. hahaha. and then maybe a quick hop over to Japan. man. this is crazy.
I know I'll make friends at Robins... i always do....I kinda have already through the spouses page (thank GOD)....and I'm glad I'll have 2 years with them instead of only 5 months. These past 5 months with these girls has been awesome. Even if we met because i was scared of my car drowning on the way to pick up my husband....or we met because I stalked you on facebook because my husband was already friends with yours...or if we met through a facebook group and talked for months before you actually got here. Making friends comes easy to me--it always has....but its the ones that change you that stick with you. Like my best friend Ashley back home....god I miss her...I can't wait to see her in a couple weeks! I know I'm always going to have these friends. We may not always talk, but they're there and they know that I'm always here if they ever need me. I'm going to miss you guys.
I guess I better stop being my usual sappy self and go do some cleaning/packing/organizing... i really want a nap though. lol gonna be a busy rest of my week, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm so proud of my husband and all he has accomplished and I can't wait to pin his career badge on next Tuesday. :)
for now, I bid you adieu. Next time you hear from me, I'll be at Robins. :)
-beth
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