And So The Journey Begins....

      Hey, I can't believe its been over 2 months since my last post. A lot has happened... weight has come and gone and come again. Holidays have come and gone. Trips have come and gone...and most importantly, my husband has left for USAF BMT.

     So let me begin by saying the past 2 months have been crazy busy. We'll start with November. Not much happened at first.  I was enjoying being back at Latham, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my mom's family. Overally, November was a great month--aside from me freaking out about December. lol. We spent every moment we had just trying to enjoy each other's company and spend the last few weeks together.  Thanksgiving came and went--and then IRON BOWL SATURDAY! (ROLL TIDE). lol. We spent the day at Daniel's parents watching the Iron Bowl, enjoying extremely fattening food (haha), and talking.  Then at halftime, we were presented with our Christmas presents from them--new phones! They wanted us to have a reliable way to talk to each other while he was at BMT--so we took a trip to Verizon and got us set up on new phones and our own plan (for the first time since we were married!). That was a blessing and a half! We were thrilled!

    After that weekend, we had a week of reprieve. That last week of November was Daniel's last week at Kohl's, and he was SO ready to be done by Friday.  On December 1st, we went and ate dinner with a very special family that is so close to our hearts. Jon Jones, Daniel's bible teacher from MA, has been so amazing and a big part of our lives since we got married. I wish we were able to see him more often than we were, but both of our busy schedules made that difficult.  He was such a blessing to us! We enjoyed chatting, a great meal, and lots of discussions about the coming weeks.  On December 2nd, we enjoyed Christmas at my dad's parents' house.  This was huge for me. I spent the last 2 months planning and trying to make sure we got EVERYONE together.  This was the first time we got together with my aunt and uncle in several years. Actually...since my wedding 3 years ago. It was great for all of us to spend that time together exchanging gifts AND Daniel and I ended up getting enough money for Christmas for us to take a trip for our anniversary. HUGE blessing.  We spent the rest of that week just kinda planning our trip when I was home, spending time together when I was off work, and talking.  December 8th, we had Christmas at Daniel's aunt's house and had so much fun. A lot more talking about him leaving, a lot more laughs, a lot of great fattening foods (of which every party is nothing short of! lol) and just spending time with family.

    We left for our trip on December 9th. We were SO incredibly blessed to have been able to take this trip. We had 3 nights and 4 days down in Biloxi, MS. You may think "why there?!?" It is a BEAUTIFUL area, plus theres an AFB about 5 minutes from the hotel we stayed at...and I wanted Daniel to get an idea of what we might have in store for us in the future! Plus, because it was the off season, we got it at a fantastic price! Every moment of it was spent holding hands, lounging in the bed, or just enjoying being ourselves. After living with my family  for so long (much longer than we expected) it was a MUCH needed break. Now, i'm not saying I'm ungrateful for what my parents have done for us, we are SO thankful because without their help we would have been out on the streets. But we needed that alone time right before he left. I thank God every day for that trip because it gave both of us something to look back on over these 8.5 weeks that he is gone.  We spent more money than we ever have, drank more than we should have (but enjoyed it!), ate a TON of food, and were completely and utterly lazy and happy. Best. Trip. I've. Ever. Had.  I think it was because he was leaving in a few days and the fact of that looming over our heads just made it THAT MUCH MORE precious.

   When we got back to town, we spent the remaining 4 days together. We went to his parents and stayed there for a couple nights so that we could all spend a few more days together before he left. I wish we could have stayed in Biloxi till he left. lol. It was fun, but i miss that trip more than anything. More importantly I miss my husband. terribly.

   The day he left? I actually did surprisingly well. I was expecting to break down completely and not be able to dirve and all that stuff. But no, i held his hand and was right by his side from the time we got to the recruiter to the time he left my side to get on the bus. My father-in-law took an amazing picture (the one as the background of my blog right now) of our last kiss before he got on the bus. I bawled when I saw that picture. I did really well the rest of that day....the only time i lost it was that night when he facetimed me. All day I was like "oh he's just at MEPS, we can talk...he'll be back tomorrow" and then as it would dawn on me that i'm not gonna see him or hold him for 8.5 weeks, i'd start to lose it. That first night was easy because he could talk to me, we facetimed for a bit on our phones (basically like skype)...then went to bed. The next day was a little harder because he wasn't able to talk as much, but he was still able to talk here and there to let me know certain flights landed, or that he got moved to a different flight, that he passed his medical exam and all that stuff. Then that second night came and he had a 30 second phone call to tell me that he had landed at SAT and that he was okay and that he would "call later with more information." I just barely squeezed out "Happy Anniversary..." as he hung up. Oh yeah, did I mention the day he actually started BMT at Lackland was our 3rd Anniversary?! Thanks USAF, really appreciate it. lol.

    I woke up the next morning, with 2 hours of sleep nonetheless, to a voicemail from Daniel with his address and i bawled my eyes out. I said happy anniversary to the phone about a million times...that and I love you. and I miss you. and all that. I know he couldn't hear me, that didn't make me say it any less. lol. I had a REALLY rough time that day. By the time I got to work at 1230, I was like a zombie... emotionally drained... really completely drained. I had cried most the morning with my brother trying to comfort me (i was SO thankful he got in Tuesday night with my mom being out of town)...and i basically stopped just long enough to go to work. I put his Christmas card in the mail and got home, and lost it again. It took me about 3 days of feeling like a zombie to have some normalcy... even then, I still don't feel normal and its been almost 2 weeks. I feel like i'm just kinda going in and out of my days. I'll have some days where I'm fine...then I'll have other days where I think "why the hell are we doing this!??!" and I KNOW 100% that we're doing this to better ourselves and our future... and I am SO proud of my husband for doing this... but good Lord is it hard. I didn't think it would be this difficult. Like I said, some days I'm fine. Some days I'm really not.

   I got my first phone call from him last Tuesday. Christmas Day. BEST. CHRISTMAS. PRESENT. EVER. God I missed his voice. even though i have his voice mail, it was nice to hear him tell me "i love you too" back. hahaha. voicemails don't talk back to you. much to my dismay. lol. We talked about this and that...he told me how the first few days he regretted going in, but that its gotten better. He still sounded awful (had a cold when he left), and i told him to go to sick call the next day to get a cold pack. I really hope he listened. He said he would, but you know men...they like to try to be the hero. lol. We talked about a lot and we talked about nothing. i think we were both just glad to hear each others' voices. The hardest part was the saying goodbye. After he hung up, I broke down. I am so happy i heard from him, but at the same time, it made it THAT MUCH HARDER to bear. As i'm in the middle of my breakdown, he called me back...and I immediately attempted to dry it up so i could sound strong for him...which is what everyone said to do. everyone told me not to cry on the phone. I did good. until i picked up the phone that time and heard him crying. OH. MY. GOD. I have never felt so heartbroken in my life. For a man that has never cried, that was hard to hear. He said he talked to his mom and she started crying so he lost it and he really wanted to hear my voice again before his time ended. broke. my. heart. Guh. i'm tearing up just thinking about it.

   I spent the rest of the night curled up in my bed crying trying to be positive. Man was it hard.  I woke up the next morning really not feeling well, but I had to go to work. I worked only from 10-1 and tried to be really positive. Dropped off a letter to the post office, came home...did Insanity (stupidest mistake ever)...and just spent the rest of the evening quietly on the computer.  Thursday went to work from 7-1230 and felt AWFUL the entire time. I think this was when i realized I was getting a bug. i was nauseated, felt extremely tired, and just bleh. Got off, went home, curled up in bed.  I went and got my hair trimmed around 3, at which point we discussed my hair color that we're gonna be doing before I go for his graduation! SO EXCITED! Then, Friday and Saturday I was feeling soooo sick. I caught a bug or something. it was nasty. i barely ate anything on Friday. I couldn't keep it down, didn't have an appetite, ect... idk. it was rough. lol. Saturday I did a little bit better... I was still feeling really sick, but i was keeping food down. My dad, sister, and I went to pick out our new mattresses and bed sets, which was fun...but by the end of it I just really wanted to go to bed. haha.

  Now to today. Its been 13 days since my husband left. I'm feeling a little bit better about the whole thing...(and i'm doing a bit better sick wise)... I've had my moments, but I'm really thankful that my husband is doing  what he is for our family. Its gonna be a hard transition, but it will all be worth it.  Its already been 2 weeks since he left, and the remaining 6.5 will go by just as fast. I write to him every night and feel like I'm spending time with him in that way. I'm *HOPING* that he will get to call home today, but I'm not expecting it.  He just called home last Tuesday...so I expect not to get another phone call until next week. I will probably be updating my blog a little more often than i used to...and now its mainly going to be where I come to tell of my experiences during this time... From what I've been reading, posting it really helps...not to mention it gives me something else to do. lol.

Sorry for the long post! For now I'm done. I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New year! :D

May 2013 be full of happiness and love!

~Bethany~

before he left

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and sorry I could not travel both
and be one traveler, long i stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear,
though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
and THAT has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost-

This poem I memorized in 6th grade at Whitesburg Middle School with Mrs. Foster. I still remember it. I still remember the day she handed it to us and I was like "oh crap. I'm never going to memorize all this... I'm never going to want this in my head...this is never going to make  a difference..." hah, what fools we are as children.

i had a rather crazy episode of uncrontrolled sobbing tonight. Just all the stress of wanting to lose weight, seeing all my friends getting pregnant (btw, be warned, you may be hidden for a while or even deleted if i see that I cannot handle it...too much to bear right now). While I understand that now is not the right time, you guys have no idea how hard it is for me to sit back and watch. Daniel and I are on our own timeline, and I'm so thankful for that...but being a mother is all i've ever wanted, so it weighs heavily on my heart. Just be warned, its nothing against you, its just something i've got to to in order to keep sane.....and thats only if i see its just making me fall deeper and deeper into this pit. 

But its the weight loss, the wait to have children, work, the thought that Daniel is leaving in 6.5 weeks, just everything piled on top...and I just lost it... the thing that brought me to that point was me getting irrationally mad because Daniel was proving a point to me about going out to eat. I was mad that my friend couldn't go out and that she waited almost an hour to tell me so (no worries, i'm over it...i wasn't truly mad, just everything made me that irritable).... but anyways--so i was "angry" and i just wanted chili's because "i had gotten it in my mind i was  going to eat out" and he blatantly pointed out that i would feel awful if i went and that i just needed to eat something here...and to which i replied "fine i just wont eat" and i stomped off to the bathroom where I had my meltdown. 

irrational? stupid? yes.   idk. i guess just everything hit me at once, and i lashed out. I know that if i do not admit to this...i will allow myself to do it again. I let myself cry it out for at least an hour...Daniel came in after 15 minutes and just sat with me. I felt awful. But i realized something...the reason its so difficult for me is because this is "the road not taken" for me. I've never been down this road before. I've never been the skinny girl...and i have this "irrational fear" of getting down. Thats whats been hindering me these past couple years. I've gotten scared. Terrified. 

I know I can do it. I'm just terrified of doing it. What happens if I get down and I don't like what I see? What happens if I get down and Daniel doesn't like what he sees? What happens if I don't think its enough and I keep going and keep going until i develop anorexia or bulemia... i mean... these are all irrational fears. but they are the demons inside of me. This is why i created this blog...to not only note my successes but to share my demons, to unload a burden, to vent. 

I know Daniel loves me with all of his heart and I know he is behind me 100% of the way, just as I was for him when he lost his weight and as I am for him as he leaves for BMT.  I think its just hard for me sometimes. you know?  I know you guys don't really understand me...and thats okay. I can be kinda crazy sometimes. I just had to let this out. 

I am taking the road less traveled  Its not gonna be easy, in fact--its going to be damn hard. I don't expect anything less. I just hope you guys can bear with me. I need prayers. Pray for strength, God's wisdom, and for me to just overcome. I'm going to have these morbid moments where i just lash out and then instantly regret it. So much I have to overcome...not just my weight issues...but the issues that led me to gain weight in the first place. I have to make a stand against myself. for myself. 

"I wont give up on us, even if the skies get rough--i'm giving you all I got...I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up. No I wont give up on us, GOD KNOWS I'M TOUGH ENOUGH. [I've] got a lot to learn. God know's [I'm] worth it. [I'm] worth it."-Jason Mraz. 

On The Road Again

I know, you guys are thinking that "oh here she goes again...this time i wonder how long it will take for her to quit again."

I've said it again and again "this time is different." and each time, its been the same. Though, i don't know if thats completely true because it is different. It has been since i posted my first blog.  I've had a lot of struggles over the last 10 months, and all of which have had some form of influence on my weight loss efforts.  This time, its for the better.

I've started a new job which gives me 5 extra hours a week that i spend in the gym. It also is so much more laid back and awesome than my last job. I'm able to eat every 2-3 hours, like they say. i can bring yogurt, cheese, apples, nuts, anything my heart desires for a snack. my hours are 10-5 M&W, 8-3 Tu&Th, and it varies on fridays...usually either 8-3 or 10-5...or sometimes 7-1230 or 1.  so if its a late day, i'll go to the gym first thing and then eat breakfast around 9...snack around 11, eat lunch around 1, snack around 3, eat dinner around 5 or 6.  All of my snacks are small... usually apple slices and a Babybel white cheddar cheese wheel...thats my favorite snack...and my lunches are usually an AdvantEdge shake with a greek yogurt and cheese stick.

Its so refreshing. i also get to take the kids on buggy rides some days (depends on who is awake and who is asleep--i work with 6w-1y) I keep telling my husband that i'm sooo glad i changed jobs...even though its less money, we're doing okay. i'm not as stressed, and that pays off BIG TIME in the end.  I think the only thing i'm kinda worried about is not being able to do our anniversary trip before he leaves for BMT on Dec 17.

We want to go stay at the Beau Rivage in Biloxi, MS for 3 nights. Its got a theatre, several restaurants, on the beach (not that big of a deal in Dec, but its still pretty), and its a resort, so its beautiful.  I've been there before only a couple years after Katrina, and it was pretty then, even with the wasteland around it. now its all built up again though, and i can't wait to see it.

But anyways. I haven't posted in a while, and I wanted to let you know, that i'm doing good. I'm down 4 lbs since restarting last week.  i've been really good about going to the gym, only missing one day last week due to a migrane.  My eating is what i'm focusing on more this week.  I mean, its not that i do bad, i just have a hard time with portions at dinner. i'm great at breakfast, lunch, snacks...its dinner. Depending on what we have, i go back for seconds....not always for the main thing, but the sides...like tonight we're doing Chicken, green beans and corn. I'll probably go back for the veggies but not for chicken...but all the calories add up. My coffee is the worst. I wish i could drink it black. lol. would save me about 75 calories. And since I'm not drinking soda, i have to have my coffee--otherwise its caffeine withdrawls for me, and that is NO FUN. haha

Daniel's been a big help too. Though, he always is. This time i told him to be more honest with me and by golly he listened. I go into the kitchen to get froyo or want to get fast food on a lunch or something he's like "do you want to lose weight?" "do you want to stay at this weight the rest of your life?" "do you want kids?" just honest stuff, and usually we end up talking about it and then i'm like "yea, you're right, its not worth it." and i sit my butt back down or ignore my craving for fast food.  OR like two weeks ago, i wanted a burger...so instead of going to Mc Donalds, i just got hamburger meat and buns from the store, went home and made my own...out of lean beef.... sooo i saved some calories there. :)


I know you guys have pretty low faith in me right now because i've been so on again off again the past few months, but bear with me. I'm trying, and i just need encouragement, and something to maintain my willpower. Willpower is the one thing i have the hardest time with.  :\ "If losing weight were easy, everyone would do it." I try to remember that. Its not easy, and it will only get harder, but i just need to power through and do it anyways. Something I'm hopefully about to start is a devotional, as well. Daniel and I are going to be reading through His Needs, Her Needs and I will be doing a devotional at work. The devotional I am going to be doing is called "Food, Fitness, and Faith" and i'll just be doing the 21 day devotional first to see how it goes.  :)

but anyways, theres a song out there that all of you know and I sing this song to myself even though its meant as a romantic song, but i sing it about my weight...and Daniel...but when i hear it, i think about myself.

"I wont give up on us, even if the skies get rough. [I'm giving it all I got], I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up. I wont give up on us, God knows I'm TOUGH ENOUGH. We got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it. WE'RE WORTH IT!"

REMEMBER:
we are all worth the fight. God knows how much we can take and he knows what it takes to push us.
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Go make a positive change today. I know I did. I did my workout even though I didn't want to get up. Go do it. you'll feel better.

Take THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.  I know i'll be taking that one. because "that [will make] all the difference."  I'll post the full poem by Robert Frost in another blog. Its one of my faves that i learned in 6th grade and probably one of the only ones I remember.

have a good day! no. strike that. HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY! :D

Breaking Point

Okay just fair warning, today i'm gonna sound like Mrs. Debbie Downer, mainly because its been rough and I need to vent and cry. Its okay to cry every once and a while, isnt it?


Today was the first day I have EVER sobbed during a workout. I had to pause it at one point just to catch my breath cuz i felt like i was going to hyperventilate. But I learned something important today, thanks to my husband. Excuses will get the best of us if we let them. We gotta push through them.

I have felt useless today. Just exhausted to the point where i felt like all my limbs were made of lead and i was dragging my feet. I have NO IDEA what has caused this feeling, and I don't like it. I get it sometimes at work towards the end of the day, but i've never experienced that on the weekends, mainly because i tend to not really do much except for laundry and grocery shop. But today I woke up with an awful migrane and that just set the mood for the rest of the day.

As you all know, I do Insanity Sunday-Friday, with Saturdays being my rest day. Well, last week? I did it Sun, Mon, Tuesday, then was sick Wed-Friday. So i have gone 4 days without doing it. that did NOT help me when it came time to do it today. I usually do it right when i get up because I know i'll talk myself out of it  later in the day if i don't. Well, unfortunately, today I woke up with a migrane which I have to eat toast, drink something, and take medicine. which takes time. it took an hour and a half before that medicine kicked in. By that time? It was already 930a. I usually go to the store at 11.

I, instead of doing Insanity once the medicine kicked in, decided to read and finish laundry that i didn't finish yesterday. Then i had used the excuse "well i just ate, so i'll probably throw up." Daniel just shook his head and said "you're gonna regret this later." yeah. i did.

around noon my dad and i went to the store. I was dragging my feet the whole time. I felt and feel awful still. we got our groceries, and by the time we got home I was starving, in an ill mood, blood sugar was dropping, ect. that was 2p. It took Daniel an hour and a half to convince me to get off my ass and do Insanity. He had to force me up, tell me i had to go get dressed, and basically do everything but force me to do the moves. Am I ashamed? yes. I am ashamed at how i've been today, but i don't really know what it is. I feel like someone has drugged me and made me feel so out of it. I haven't taken anything other than sudafed and B12 which BOTH are supposed to perk you up. (sudafed for my headache).

There was one point during the dvd where i just sat on the floor and said "i give up" and i just started sobbing because i had no idea what else to do. I felt like i was chained to the floor, felt like i couldn't get up. Daniel said "i'm trying to have faith in you. Please. get up. do it. you wont regret it. I love you. You need to break the cycle." He said that if I didnt do it that i was falling into my old patterns of quitting because i didn't feel like it...making excuses because I was tired and just didn't want to do it...He was telling me the truth.

Everytime I start a new "regimen" for working out, i do it really well for a few weeks, then i slack...something ALWAYS comes up. I get "sick," or i have this or that going on, or plain 'I just dont want to anymore." every. single. time. I give up. I say "its impossible to go on, i'm never going to lose this weight." "I'm sick, this must be a sign I shouldn't keep this up." "I just don't really care anymore." ect ect. same old bullshit, same old Bethany.

but today I hit a breaking point. Thanks to my wonderful husband, i powered through. I sobbed though most of it, and once it was over I broke down. But this time i broke down because i broke through the shield of the past. I broke through and kept going. i have never felt so ashamed. i have never felt so liberated.

All this being said, i think i'll be able to do it no matter what now. i know i can do it when i feel chained to the ground. sorry for the debbie downer vibe today. just...not feeling it. its been a roller coaster of a day.

thats all for now.

hope ya'll had a great weekend.

True Colors

You wanna know something I've always wanted to do? Run.

I've always "hated it."  But what a lot of people don't know is that I used to be and still am the person that, even though I say I hate it, I secretly long to be able to do it.  As you have all seen, I've been attempting to get in shape through insanity (which will work, if i can stick with it. 12 days down, 51 to go). Well I've seen a lot of my friends running this 5k and that...and well i want to be one of those.

Well theres this website, Skinny Ms., that is having a contest. They are giving away 4 tickets to any color run in the US and by golly, i'm going for it. I think this particular 5k would be fun and would keep me going because who doesn't want to get covered from head to toe in a rainbow? LOL Plus, theres a few locations that aren't far from home, so we wouldn't have to fork over a bunch of cash for lodging/gas/ect. Heres the link to the contest for those of you who are also interested in entering. http://skinnyms.com/contest.  

Even if I don't win the four pack of tickets, I could still win some great prizes from Skinny Ms like a cookbook (i could always use more recipes!), and a 12 week program that i could do in between Insanity rounds! :)

If you haven't like Skinny Ms on facebook, you need to, btw. They always post fantastic recipes and tips. I've tried a few of them. :)


But anyways, thats about all I have for today. Just got done with Day 12 of Insanity and I'm BEAT. now if I can just go get my shower and head to work.

have a great day!

Sometimes Seeing Is Believing

If you were ever like me, you know what i'm talking about. You sit on your ass on the couch and watch TV. An infomercial comes on and you see "how much weight you can lose" or "how to get a six-pack" ect ect...and you're like "oooh  i want that, it will help..." then as you get older you notice that some of the pictures...well they look off...and you start to think that that is just a gimmick. another thing USA wants to do  to get more money.

Well, I used to think that about Insanity. I was like "that will never work." or "hah. that totally looks fake!" ect ect. BUT after doing one week? I already see a difference and feel a difference. I know its not a hype. IT WORKS...especially if you eat right and push yourself without hurting yourself.

In one week I've noticed my endurance has gotten better, I want to push myself that extra set, ect. I've also noticed that clothes are starting to fit me better. I have this one pair of jean capris that I wear to work all the time..and usually after I wash them they are SUPER tight on me. Well, i put those suckers on right out of the dryer on saturday and they fit perfectly, in fact they were kinda loose. So i was curious. I measured my waist, hips, and chest just to see....at first I couldn't believe what i was seeing. I had lost 1.5" off my waist, 1.25" off my chest, and 0.5" off my hips. O.O i was like "WHAT?!?! is that even possible?!" apparently it is. I also weighed myself and I'm down 3lbs since last Sunday. I'm not gonna say an official weight until this coming sunday when I do my fit test again...same thing with the measurements. I just wanted to see because, like i said, my clothes were fitting better and it was weird!

Something I have noticed the past two days I've been off and done Insanity is that if i eat a meal the night before that is bad for you (junk food Saturday night, Chili's last night) i have INSANE heartburn during my workout. Thats always lovely. I was like 'seriously? come on!!!" lol but other than that, its been good.  Not really looking forward to tomorrow. its Plyometrics and I am already learning to hate Plyo and its only day 2 of week 2. (day 9).

But anyways I just thought I'd share my success so far. Its crazy! I'll post my results side by side next Sunday. :)

see ya'll later! have a safe Labor Day!

Dig Deeper

As I mentioned in my last blog, I wanted to start INSANITY. Well, now i have. I am officially on Day 4 of Insanity! (Already did my workout, tomorrow will be day 5). I am enjoying it thoroughly. While it is excruciating in some portions (for my weak ankles/wrists), I still enjoy it. I know i'm working my butt off. Literally. lol. I have decided not to count calories while i do so, but just pay attention to what i'm eating and how much. If i start to try counting calories i'm going to go crazy because I have NO IDEA how many i'm burning.... so yea. I need to get a heart rate monitor, but they're expensive.

I am doing it alone this first time. Mainly because i'm doing it at the house and there is NO ROOM. Also because I am out of shape and I want to go through a round by myself before I try to do it with anyone else. Daniel has been getting up with me so he can cheer me on while i do it, and that helps me keep going. Another thing that i've found that really helps is the Gatorade stuff. Daniel thinks I'm silly for believing in it, but whatever. I use the PRIME and RECOVER formulas. the Prime is great. it has B vitamins to help you power through your workout. The Recover is the perfect ratio of Carbs::protein that you need to recover from a workout. I usually drink half a bottle of the recover mixed with a small amount of water (its really syrupy). Its helped me out a lot I think. daniel thinks its bogus, but he says whatever gets me to do it and feel good about myself. :)

Also, a new thing started at work this week. They are allowing us a 10-minute break. They come in and cover us while we go take a break...I think i'm going to start utilizing this 10 minute break to have my snack. I'm gonna start bringing an apple, banana, granola bar, ect...and use that 10 minutes to eat and go potty. I think that will help me out A LOT. I hope they keep doing it. Its an awesome system. It will keep me from eating the kids food because instead of trying to wolf down a small granola bar in like 1 minute hiding in the room, I will get to sit, eat my snack, and drink plenty of water with it. Granola bars don't last very long if you don't have any water with it. :)

I have figured out that I will finish with Insanity on October 20. That will be the end of Round 1.  I will then proceed to swimming, starting strength, and running.  :) If i keep this up, I will be starting a second round of Insanity in December/January. by that time, I will have a little more time on my hands and hopefully have a ton more endurance and strength. :) not to mention be down a little in weight! lol

My goals for Insanity:

Lose 15lbs
Gain endurance
Gain strength
Gain energy